The Elder Strolls
For those looking for more Nondrick, well, there isn’t any at the moment.
However, for those of you looking for something that is kinda like Nondrick, there is! PC Gamer asked me to give Skyrim the Nondrick treatment for their website on a weekly basis.
Since I couldn’t really replicate Nondrick’s distinct fish-faced look in Skyrim, and since 200 years have passed since the events of Oblivion, it seemed reasonable to create a new character who just happens to be a distant descendant of Nondrick. Meet Nordrick.
Nordrick will be non-adventuring through Skyrim the way Nondrick did in Oblivion: walking everywhere, avoiding adventure, and trying to scratch out a living. You can read the first installment here. The diary will be running on Saturdays!
December 10, 2011 at 5:44 pm
Yay!
December 10, 2011 at 6:13 pm
Please aim to craft a +3 amulet of fishface.
December 10, 2011 at 7:05 pm
I knew leaving this RSS in my feed reader was worth it. Will you be posting here whenever a new post come out?
December 10, 2011 at 7:59 pm
What will happen to Nondrick, though? Did he finally die by standing still?
December 10, 2011 at 9:44 pm
My life will have meaning again?! But I’m curious, too, Michael…. Any chance of one last “happily ever after” post for Nondrick? After all, if he has descendants 200 years later, he must end up with a family.
December 10, 2011 at 10:03 pm
Wait, what the?
December 10, 2011 at 10:06 pm
Hwuh
December 11, 2011 at 12:51 am
Yay, he’s alive!
December 11, 2011 at 1:37 am
How the fuck did Nondrick get laid? Did he just donate sperm anonymously or something? Also, fuck yeah weekly installments.
December 11, 2011 at 2:43 am
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
December 11, 2011 at 2:58 am
So, wait… What happens to the Crew? Do we hang back here for discussion? PC-Gamer seems very populated…
December 11, 2011 at 4:39 am
Is there an RSS feed for the new series?
December 11, 2011 at 1:40 pm
There’s a general one for PC gamer, but I’ve created a one for the series here http://pipes.yahoo.com/rssoran/elderstrolls
December 16, 2011 at 6:54 pm
You *ROCK*. Thanks.
December 11, 2011 at 11:58 am
I’m not sure Dupersude, you have to make an account to post, which would probably seriously curb our over postings…
December 11, 2011 at 12:01 pm
I can’t rememeber how to fix the italics
December 11, 2011 at 1:50 pm
I think we’ll just stay here, as usual.
Alternatively, we can breathe life into our site!
December 11, 2011 at 3:38 pm
What was the link? I think the site needs to be made a new….
December 11, 2011 at 5:59 pm
hiatuscrew.webs.com
How could you forget, G?
December 12, 2011 at 6:18 am
Awesome. If I might add a suggestion, you should still have to sleep after 10pm or so via the wait function if there are no beds nearby.
In the meantime it should be interesting to see how you get out of dawnstar through the snow wearing only some threadbare clothes and footwraps.
December 12, 2011 at 7:51 am
G, worry not, for I remember exactly how to break in italics! Done!
I like the idea of getting the site running again, but, realistically, who would visit? How often? It would likely only get abandoned again.
Staying here works good.
December 12, 2011 at 3:18 pm
OH THANK GOD
Sorry about being a douche is the comments earlier, i was bored and “needed to accomplish short term goals”. If you catch my meaning. i won’t do that anymore unless Mr. Livingston decides to wait 5 months before posting again. However seeing as though PCgamer is making him pump it out every week, i’ll get my fix and stay sane.
December 12, 2011 at 3:28 pm
So excited for the new adventures!
December 12, 2011 at 8:20 pm
dupe, if you guys started to post again, so would I.
I’d include it in my daily website check-up.
December 12, 2011 at 9:28 pm
I cannot begin to describe how excited I am to read Nordrick’s adventures! Since coming across this site in late October I’ve been checking back for possible updates and re-reading past updates daily. Off to see the first of the new posts! *heads to the linked site*
December 13, 2011 at 5:17 am
Well, in that case, I’m almost sold.
Victory cigars would seal the deal.
December 13, 2011 at 5:21 am
Just addin’ the site to my name,
December 13, 2011 at 8:53 am
So Doop here says the Water Temple ain’t hard. Says he blasted through it in twenty-six minutes when he was just a wee Doop of five.
December 13, 2011 at 11:21 am
What?! Lies! Falsities! Blasphemer! Exaggerations! I said no such thing as that!
First of all, I was EIGHT OR NINE. Not five!
And second of all, I never once said 26 minutes! It was probably closer to a couple of hours!
December 13, 2011 at 2:07 pm
On the other hand I, a fully grown and apparently stupid adult of fifty-two, required a navigator with a strategy guide and an IV drip of caffeine to make my painful way through it in just over three days.
If only I’d known that help was just a phone call away.
December 13, 2011 at 3:05 pm
The WTF could have saved your life!
…. in the game.
December 13, 2011 at 3:22 pm
bbop is 52?
December 13, 2011 at 3:30 pm
You didn’t know that? Come on, I thought you did your homework…
December 13, 2011 at 3:36 pm
I used to be five like Doop…then I took an arrow to the knee.
December 13, 2011 at 3:40 pm
http://www.cad-comic.com/cad/20111209
December 13, 2011 at 3:49 pm
It was a practice arrow…zero damage supposedly. Yeah, tell that to my patella.
December 13, 2011 at 5:01 pm
Has anyone figured out a way to subscribe to JUST the elder strolls through rss? I really want Chris’ posts on my google reader feed, but I’m sick of 8 other pcgamer posts per day that don’t apply to me.
December 13, 2011 at 6:24 pm
doran Says:
December 11, 2011 at 1:40 pm
There’s a general one for PC gamer, but I’ve created a one for the series here http://pipes.yahoo.com/rssoran/elderstrolls
Reply
December 13, 2011 at 6:24 pm
Shit, Tyrone, get it together!
December 14, 2011 at 1:14 am
I never do homework, for i live in a cardboard box. + the pipes thing refuses to work, for me at least.
December 14, 2011 at 1:51 am
Well, my poor attempt at a no adventuring character just met an abrupt end. Cornered in an old abrupt shack and mauled by a saber cat on his way to windhelm.
During his journey Uselysses the imperial had visited 5 capitals and ammassed over 1000 septims (even despite all the splurging he did in solitude, 270 gold for black briar reserve, really?). In the meantime he made a living as a scavenger, miner, hunter, migrant farm worker, fashion model, alchemist, and deliveryman. He even delivered things descreetly in case any man needed a “potion of the stallion.”
December 14, 2011 at 6:00 am
Tell me, good sir, how does a shack become “brief to the point of rudeness”?
December 14, 2011 at 7:15 am
It was supposed to be “abandoned,” and then suddenly I guess it wasn’t, thanks phone.
December 15, 2011 at 7:43 pm
Thanks, dupersude! I’m subscribed now. I appreciate it!
December 16, 2011 at 4:23 am
No problem, Ian. I was just copy-pasting what some other guy said anyway.
So, Crew… Why is it Michael and I are the only ones on the forums? Get awn it!
December 16, 2011 at 5:45 am
RIP Bbop. She used to be an adventurer until she contracted fatal jealousyitus and died of pouting too hard.
December 16, 2011 at 2:02 pm
We accept zombies, BBoP.
You’re still welcome to post in the forums!
December 16, 2011 at 10:34 pm
I did a post.
December 16, 2011 at 10:55 pm
Hello everyone, i have nothing to say but i’ll post anyway.
Actually, i’ve heard “jokes” about Skyrim being made single-handedly by Todd Howard. I know who he is, but what i don’t and want to know is what caused these “jokes” to arise.
First person to answer gets a cookie!
December 16, 2011 at 11:01 pm
Here’s a quote from an interview with Todd Howard:
It seems that audience will get everything it expects from Skyrim, including just a smattering of the … well, let’s call it “technical quirkiness” that Bethesda games are known for. Though Howard and co. have heard the complaints and try to address them, the occasional bug may not be entirely unintentional.
“We try to solve most of it, we’re sensitive to a lot of it. There is a subset of that where we say ‘Well, that’s what can happen.’ If there’s entertainment value in that, whatever it is, we’ll leave a lot of it. If it’s gonna break the game, or unbalance the game in some way, we do try to solve it. If the solution is gonna make the game less fun … well, hey, leave it in,” Howard said, before adding with a smile, “It’s their game.”
December 16, 2011 at 11:03 pm
Okay now watch this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=93W6mB0ZqCM&feature=youtube_gdata_player
December 17, 2011 at 11:50 pm
So.. I don’t expect a reply to this, but – are you going to write any more for this Oblivion blog or is that it now that you have Skyrim? I really wanted to see how this ended, even if it was just a quick *gets into fight with city guard over some more stolen flowers, gets killed*
December 18, 2011 at 5:15 am
It all makes sense now.
BBoP, i’m sorry i can’t actually give you cookies. But you were extremely helpful.
I’m lying, about it making sense not the cookie part.
If i knew you, i would bake for you unending.
December 18, 2011 at 5:22 am
Yeah, I don’t know. I just thought it was funny.
“That BBoP! What a card!”
*everyone laughs*
December 18, 2011 at 9:40 pm
Chris, you’re my fucking hero!
Thanks so much for doing this. Thanks so much to PC Gamer for sponsoring this. It’ll be just like the good old days – cheers!
December 19, 2011 at 10:32 am
*crickets*
Hello?
HELLO?!
It’s so lonely here…
December 19, 2011 at 4:06 pm
http://hiatuscrew.webs.com/
December 19, 2011 at 6:57 pm
I know, but I can’t go there. I keep getting a proxy error.
December 20, 2011 at 2:25 am
I check this site at least once a day usually around 7pm-9pm. So try not to feel too lonely.
December 20, 2011 at 8:32 am
Finally got through to the website and was chagrined to see that no one had been there for TWO DAYS.
*crickets*
Hello?
HELLO?!
it’s so lonely EVERYWHERE I GO…
December 20, 2011 at 8:40 am
I’m usually loading the forums up every day.
I haven’t been lately, because I’ve been out of city and state, as you know. So my laptop time at night has been disrupted.
December 20, 2011 at 1:40 pm
I kinda like it here, actually.
December 20, 2011 at 2:05 pm
Here is nice.
At least we get email notifications here.
December 21, 2011 at 2:21 pm
E-mail notifications are my favorite kind. I usually get ones related to bills or probation.
By the way thank you BBoP, your acknowledgement is always appreciated
December 21, 2011 at 3:44 pm
As for Nondrick’s fate, I imagine him catching wind of plants that only grow on the plane of Oblivion, and deciding he must have them. He enters an Oblivion Gate and falls madly in love with a female (he hoped) Dremora Caitiff archer in a form-fitting cuirass. Sure, she was firing a barbed arrow into his codpiece at the time, but when she came closer to loot his body and turn him into a decorative wall hanging, she fell for him. It turns out that in Oblivion, ugly is beautiful, and Nondrick was the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen.
December 21, 2011 at 3:58 pm
*Sniffle*
That was amazing, WB.
December 21, 2011 at 4:16 pm
: )
December 22, 2011 at 5:44 am
Yes, i had to. Deal with it.
1. Verb___
2. Noun___
3. Noun___
4. Verb___
5. Noun___
6. Noun___
7. Noun___
8. Noun___
9. Verb___
10. Adjective___
11. Noun___
12. Adjective___
13. Verb___
As for Nondrick’s fate, I imagine him 1._____ wind of plants that only grow on the plane of 2._________, and deciding he must have them. He enters an 3._________ Gate and 4._____ madly in love with a female (he hoped) 5.__________ archer in a form-fitting 6._______. Sure, she was firing a barbed 7._____ into his 8._____ at the time, but when she came closer to 9.___ his body and turn him into a 10.________ wall hanging, she fell for him. It turns out that in 11.______, ugly is beautiful, and Nondrick was the most 12._______ thing she’d ever 13.____.
December 22, 2011 at 5:35 pm
That’s great!
December 23, 2011 at 3:02 am
I’m glad you approve, i honestly wasn’t expecting you to!
December 25, 2011 at 5:25 am
Ah, crap! No end in sight for our man in Oblivion. He got better-dealed, by his own descendant no less. How am I going to get to sleep now? I guess it’s back to Trazadone.
December 25, 2011 at 5:27 am
Happy stolen holiday, and stuff!
December 25, 2011 at 7:44 pm
Happy christmassssss
December 25, 2011 at 10:34 pm
merry christmas everyone
December 25, 2011 at 10:38 pm
Merry Christmas! I hope you all got some quality time with your families, ate some good food, had some laughs.
December 25, 2011 at 11:18 pm
You too, BBoP!
Have a holly jolly Christmas, everyone.
December 26, 2011 at 6:19 am
Hey Michael, don’t worry about having to suspend me, every time i try to sign in it acts as if i haven’t activated my account-which i have.
i will gladly spend the nessacery time in Putzy’s basement.
unfortunately i am sick so can it wait a day or two?
December 26, 2011 at 7:33 am
L.I.O.’s theme
December 26, 2011 at 3:08 pm
Sure, just remember to bring the receipt you’ll get after ”spending time” in Putzy’s basement.
January 2, 2012 at 4:25 am
Just absolute fucking silence.
Did everyone die? For serious.
January 2, 2012 at 1:30 pm
[...] The Elder Strolls (Dec. 11, 2011) [...]
January 3, 2012 at 3:59 am
I am a zombie.
January 3, 2012 at 4:08 am
Oh yeah? Well i have Shock Dangerous Stout Homemade Machete with your name on it!
p.s. Dead Island is fun
If anyone has it my GT on xbox live is “Sans Rioter”
January 7, 2012 at 11:40 am
HAI GUYS.
So I met putzy the other day.
… HE DOESN’T EVEN HAVE A BASEMENT.
January 7, 2012 at 4:39 pm
W-what are you saying? Then where is it he has been taking us…?!
Also, it looks like he stole your e.
January 7, 2012 at 5:52 pm
Wait, what? Oh boy…
January 7, 2012 at 9:15 pm
Wait, wait wait wait, Putzy no basment?
But, but, that time, the basement, the chains, the – your lying!
January 8, 2012 at 11:08 am
It’s true! I don’t know what that place was that he was taking us for the past few years, but…. It wasn’t his basement.
Unless the Basement isn’t located in his house, which is also entirely possible.
Michael, I was posting that from a public-internets machine, Michael. The E key wasn’t working properly and I didn’t realise I’d missed it out in my name until after I’d posted, but I couldn’t be bothered to correct it.
January 8, 2012 at 12:09 pm
Impostor! Putzy ate it.
January 8, 2012 at 4:35 pm
I just realised I used your name both at the beginning AND end of that first sentence, and it’s kind of weird.
Ahem. Putzy… Eat my E? HAH
That would imply putzy is bulimic, because I have my E back now.
January 9, 2012 at 6:28 am
http://www.saintsrow.com/community/characters/details/126189308846672311
I made Nondrick in the saints row 3 initiation station demo-thing.
Not as good as he could be, but you’ll recognize him.
I wanted to give him ironic clothing
January 9, 2012 at 5:36 pm
I don’t think anyone will be on the THC website for some time so i’ll post here what i posted there.
Yeah, Michael said i should go to Putzy’s Basement and go through the initiation…procedure.
I know most if not all of you guys have some sort of distaste for me…and rightly so. I have a tendency to be Insane to the point of deserving summary execution.
My infiltration of the site(something that should be impossible)was performed with the intent to demystify you and show the world your mortality. It was only after i had actually entered this hall of tainted gold, this unimaginably beautiful palace where everything is both sacred and not, that i had realized the error of my ways. I felt a strange sense of both comfort and torment that i enjoyed. The very same humbling sensation i felt when Vadermath graced L.I.O. with presense not too long ago.
Although i have not proven myself worthy in your eyes, i ask your permission Hiatus Crew, rightful Rulers of WordPress and Defenders of the Nondrick bloodline. To partake in the ritual so very few have had the privlage too.
I ask to go to Putzy’s Basement
Both sincerely and not
San Sanders
January 11, 2012 at 7:56 pm
Great thanks. Its a pity Nondrick ends so… pointless… i think… Is it correct in english? Thats kinda sad. I was waiting for a glorious ending where Nondrick is telling horrible stories to his grandsons in his hovel near the fireplace. Well thanks anyway.
Happily we have Nordrick now!
January 11, 2012 at 10:49 pm
It’s not over until the credits roll, remember that.
January 12, 2012 at 1:50 am
lol started reading Nordrick yesterday and i found this today, you guys are so funny
January 12, 2012 at 3:17 am
Wow, this place is more dead than a stillborn.
You’ll have to fill out the appropriate paperwork, Sanders, and the rest of the crew will need to scratch here, sniff there, and sign on that line, as well as mark one of the 20 odd squares on page seventy three with a drop of their own blood.
But at this rate that’s not looking likely.
Feir Cousat, we do what we can. Pimpin’ ain’t easy and stuff.
January 12, 2012 at 6:32 pm
Oh well when the crew is open to new members-let me know.
January 13, 2012 at 7:59 am
I haven’t been in contact with the rest of the crew lately.
This is really my main medium of contact with them, except for Putzy, and BBoP, whom I speak to on MSN and Facebook respectively on at least a semi-regular basis.
But we never discuss crew matters outside of here.
You’ll just have to wait for everyone to come back, again.
January 13, 2012 at 4:27 pm
Was it just 3 members of the crew, plus putzy and his basement (apparantly not really his)?
January 13, 2012 at 4:36 pm
G! YOU’RE BACK!
What was 3 members of the crew?
January 13, 2012 at 5:40 pm
Yeah, I’m back, I was just lurking, I decided not to get to involved so I’d revise, but that never happened either, unis suck they all went interviews, except one.
I thought it was crew policy that all new members must be approved by at least 3 members?
January 13, 2012 at 6:30 pm
I thought it was meant to be all crew members.
Or at least, all crew members who aren’t dead, anyway.
January 13, 2012 at 8:05 pm
I’m actually curious, who is Agent Notawino? I’ve never seen her post on L.I.O. but there she is, a crew member.
January 14, 2012 at 4:17 am
MAH FRANS!
*grins maniacally*
January 14, 2012 at 4:56 am
I’m not sure. I vaguely remember knowing, once, long ago. But this knowledge seems to have faded into the mists of time.
I think it may have been an alternate account? Not sure.
BBoP! YOU’RE ALIVE!
January 14, 2012 at 7:03 am
Hai, watashi wa not dead yet.
((G))
Good to see you. Or, Um…your name. Your initial. Dammit. Hi G
January 14, 2012 at 10:44 am
boobs
January 14, 2012 at 3:23 pm
Ffffuck I love boobs, though.
I just really love them.
Fuck I love boobs, though.
I just wanna rub them.
January 14, 2012 at 5:38 pm
Boobs are pretty cool.
January 14, 2012 at 5:42 pm
January 15, 2012 at 2:49 am
Tim Minchin looks very much like a guy I used to date. I always wondered what hey would’ve looked like with guyliner. Now I know: pretty hot.
January 15, 2012 at 2:50 am
what *HE* would’ve looked like.
January 15, 2012 at 4:40 am
He’s one of my idols when it comes to composing
January 15, 2012 at 6:28 am
Did someone call for a Hiatus Crew Representative?
January 15, 2012 at 6:33 am
Well, i for one am glad that at least BBOP and Arreh have survived new years!
I cannot say the same for my dignity, my dog or my self-esteem.
January 15, 2012 at 6:55 am
Did your dog really die?
January 15, 2012 at 10:16 am
I forgot how to into formatting, but I hope this comic makes you feel better about the loss of your dog.
tinyurl.com/7npw7gm
He is having a great time in doggy heaven.
January 15, 2012 at 7:49 pm
…how many years does the Crew have nowadays, anyway?
It has managed to last more than many rock bands!
Well, not really *many*, but still!
January 15, 2012 at 10:36 pm
Yeah he did, he was old anyway so when i woke up and he didn’t i wasn’t surprised. he had issues with his back-something like arthritis. I don’t remember the actual name of it. I had seen the writing on the wall for months and i honestly don’t whether it’s worse to see it coming or not. But i’m gonna miss him. He was a Irish Terrier/German Shepard mix and although he was originally named Anubis, I ended up calling him Hank. i honestly don’t remember why.
Arreh, whilst i am grateful for the thought i won’t be trusting a “tinyurl” link anytime soon. last time i clicked one i lost my innocence.
January 16, 2012 at 2:03 am
Sanders, why I am sorry for the loss of your dog, I can guarantee you that the link won’t destroy what little is left of your innocence.
It is completely safe.
January 16, 2012 at 4:30 am
Poor Hank D,:
January 16, 2012 at 4:34 am
Clicking it now + this guy http://www.youtube.com/user/agrmonster
or girl, i don’t actually know.
IT makes funny videos related to TESV, FO3.
You should check it out.
January 16, 2012 at 6:54 am
Sorry to hear about your loss, Sandy.
By the way, I’m calling you Sandy from now on.
Vadermath, the Crew has been around (if I remember correctly) since around October 2008. So almost four years.
I’ve been here since about May/June 2009.
January 16, 2012 at 4:43 pm
4 YEARS? WOW that’s longer than most marriages!
January 16, 2012 at 5:42 pm
Well, It’s probably closer to three and a half. But I’m pretty sure the Crew was founded mid to late 2008. so yeah.
P.S.
… Saaaaaannnndyyyyyy.
January 16, 2012 at 6:26 pm
The spongebob episode with the talking gay squirrel singing about Texas!
Or is it the gay Texan singing talking about singing squirrels?
I don’t remember which…
P.S.
…Duuuuuuppppeeeeyyyyyyy
January 16, 2012 at 6:27 pm
IT”S STILL LONGER THAN MOST MARRIAGES
January 18, 2012 at 4:52 am
I’ve been married for seventeen years. Er, I mean five. It just feels like seventeen. Haha.
Arreh
what the hell, man?
January 18, 2012 at 4:59 am
Call me Dupey all you want, Sandy. BBoP uses similar names. And on Facebook, too.
BBoP, if you’ve been married 17 years, then those are some slowwww growing children! I envy them…
January 18, 2012 at 5:04 am
<3 (((Doop))) <3
January 18, 2012 at 5:06 am
Thaaaat’s the one!
Heh, i just realised you have the same initials as the Men in Black movie
You can be Agent M.
January 18, 2012 at 5:11 am
Oh no, you’re onto me.
*flashy memory-wipe thingy flashes*
So you were saying that you ran right into a pole and your drink sprayed all over the place?
January 18, 2012 at 5:30 am
I wasn’t running! And I didn’t hit the pole! I was walking away from the car waving bye to Putz when I’d had enough of that drink always talking smack about me behind my back, so me and my friend the pole took it out.
That drink had it coming, though.
January 18, 2012 at 5:46 am
Totally. What a dick. Don’t know what it had against you. Absolutely got what it deserved.
One time, in the Target parking lot, my brother walked into a pole because he was looking at a girl instead of where he was going. And it made a loud sound like “BONGngngng” and I was laughing so hard I tripped on a curb.
January 18, 2012 at 6:09 am
Exactly! You and putzy both understand where I’m coming from!
Bahahahah! That would’ve been hilariously awesome.
Even more awesome for a third party to observe both his walk into the pole, AND your trip on the curb
January 18, 2012 at 6:13 am
A third party was observing, in the form of my mother. She didn’t really laugh. I imagine her thought process was as follows:
These, my children, are my legacy. *facepalm*
January 18, 2012 at 6:21 am
Well, if the third party was myself instead of your mother, there would have been many more lulz had.
And then Murphy’s Law would mean I’d have to trip over a shopping cart while laughing at your pain, or something.
January 18, 2012 at 6:24 am
sup boyz nondick sukz he gay hes a fag fck u all ur a grup dum. U HER ME CRIS, UR GAY, U SUK COCK
and how do u finis da solinude qust? i ned halp fast.
-BiGtOnY, da biggist niffa en da land, niggas.
January 18, 2012 at 6:26 am
Not sure if troll, or illiterate inbred hobo…
January 18, 2012 at 6:31 am
SOrrY tHat WaS meee im SoooOOOoo drunk ritenow
January 18, 2012 at 11:41 am
Somehow, I don’t think you become that illiterate when drunk, BBoP.
January 18, 2012 at 6:40 pm
Wait, BBoP, what did I do?
Also guys you’re all well sexy.
January 18, 2012 at 6:44 pm
As are you, Arreh. I just think it’s funny that you’re finally my frand, after I gave up all hope and forgot.
January 18, 2012 at 6:48 pm
I am still rejected ;_;
I think BBoP has the most crew friends out of all of us.
January 18, 2012 at 7:00 pm
Dupe, which one are you? I’m not sure I’ve had a request from you.
January 18, 2012 at 7:07 pm
Arreh, I just messaged you on Fb. Burn it as soon as you’ve read it.
January 18, 2012 at 7:21 pm
We’ve been over this before, a long time ago.
I friend requested you, and Ian a while ago. I never got a response from Ian and you seemed to accept and then delete me a short while later. S’cool though, I gave up after that. Also I am the one who runs the hiatus crew page. I am… YOUR FATHER.
January 18, 2012 at 8:07 pm
Maybe I thought you were someone else. Dupe, if you added me now I would totally accept. No questions asked.
BBoP, I will frame that message and treasure it forever.
January 19, 2012 at 3:28 pm
Well hello everyone. I’m terrible at explaining things so here you go…http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sE5WlyQRvaM&list=FLqDH9J75bB-R-18SqnwaCgQ&index=1&feature=plpp_video
January 20, 2012 at 6:42 am
Arreh, if you can’t keep the sensitive information safe, then I’m glad I didn’t tell you EVERYthing.
January 20, 2012 at 10:20 am
I’ll keep it safe I promise I promise tell me more tell me tell me tell me tell me
January 20, 2012 at 12:36 pm
Why am I being left out of all this secrecy ;_; I thought WE WERE FRIENDS, BBOP! I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIIIIEEEEEENDSSSSS.
January 20, 2012 at 7:09 pm
Because I can swim like a dolphin
January 20, 2012 at 7:30 pm
Doop, we ARE friends. I only told him things you already know such as your real name.
January 20, 2012 at 7:38 pm
Your POWER NAME
Now I can control you, dupe. Or should I say, BLARTWARD FALDENSTEIN
January 20, 2012 at 11:48 pm
THIS IS HOW YOU BEHAVE
Sorry, Doop. My judgment failed me. I thought Arreh could be trusted.
January 20, 2012 at 11:51 pm
Blartward Faldenstein? Damn, that’s one badass name.
January 21, 2012 at 6:10 am
Pretty cool, but top secret. Everyone must now die.
Well done, Arreh.
Oh, except you, Michael. Are you not already a zombie?
January 21, 2012 at 6:28 am
I should have stayed a lurker.
Honestly, no matter how much of an idiot i am or how much noone here cares for me. I like you guys-you make me laugh.
Anywhere from a chuckle to the changing of multiple pairs of underwear.
I’d like to let you know that, unless called out, i will return to lurking.
I will be watching-always.
January 21, 2012 at 7:04 am
OH NOES please nobody use my command name ;_; I am to that as Jack Ryan is to “Would you kindly?”
Also, Michael, I think I found you on facebook. Permission to add? I didn’t want to seem like a creepy stalker or something.
Aww Sandy. At least you’ll come back to us, like a puppy for his ball… I think you were starting to make a positive impact on the crew too.
As opposed to the giant negativity crater you cause by being an annoying, illiterate asshole.
January 21, 2012 at 1:34 pm
Don’t worry Doop, I’ve got power names for everyone else, so I’ll crack down any trouble they may give you. I’ve even got my own power name if I start to cause trouble.
January 22, 2012 at 5:16 am
Is it horny in here, or is that just me?
Side note: haven’t any of you punks seen Game of Thrones yet?
January 22, 2012 at 5:32 am
But now, EVERYONE knows my power name, and they could make me do any- ohgod.
… No… No don’t make me-.. NO. I WON’T SAY THAT. GET OUT OF MY HEA-….
….. Horny in here, BBoP? Pass the rum and let’s party alreadyOH GOD IT’S HAPPENING THEY’RE ALREADY ABUSING MY POWER NAME ;_;
January 22, 2012 at 5:34 am
On a more serious note (as serious as it gets in this blog anyway), no, I haven’t seen Game of Thrones yet. I’ve just started watching Doctor Who.
Has anyone read Looking For Alaska? Because you should.
January 22, 2012 at 5:42 am
Those excerpts you posted piqued my interest, but I can’t read anything right now that’s going to make me cry.
January 22, 2012 at 5:49 am
But it will also make you laugh! And be angry at the characters and feel betrayed and all sorts of emotions. ALL OF THEM.
January 22, 2012 at 6:03 am
There are roughly 17 thousand emotions that I don’t enjoy, being an extremely emotional person but also very cerebral. That, uh uh uh, that often causes me to resent my own feelings, uh you see, being at the mercy of my own chemical reactions, and then I uh begin to feel this crushing resentment of my physical body and the less convenient of its functions. For example, I am uh shall we say quite randy at the moment, but my husband is asleep, which is uh uh I’m sure you can agree QUITE the conundrum. So whereas you can read a book and feel ALL the emotions and then go about your life, I will read that same book, feel all the emotions, and hate myself for several days.
Speaking of which, what pissed Sandy off all of a sudden?
January 22, 2012 at 6:13 am
I too am an emotional person. Why do such things make you hate yourself? I didn’t just read it and go about my life, for the record. It was too important to me to just fob it off when I was done. That book stays with me.
I think I’ll read it again tomorrow.
As for the husband thing, if he’s any sort of normal husband you should be able to just take your pants off and straddle his waist to have him bend to your will.
Unless you’re wearing a dress or a skirt, in which case a lack of under-garments would work nicely too.
That was my weakness anyway…
January 22, 2012 at 6:23 am
My feelings don’t always make me hate myself. Just when there’s drama and I’m in a certain frame of mind to go to a dark place and linger there, it’s best for me to avoid exacerbating it. Things are pretty good for the most part, but there’s a shadowy corner I’m trying not to notice, let alone sit in.
As for the husband thing, ordinarily I would go after it and he would oblige. But he’s been moping about for several days with a cold. Blech.
January 22, 2012 at 6:37 am
SOUNDS LIKE SOMEONE NEEDS TO MESSAGE SOMEONE ELSE AND TELL THEM WHAT’S UP AND AND STUFF.
So what’s his excuse? “This cold is giving me a headache”? Because that’s a terrible excuse.
Really. Orgasms produce endorphins which act as painkillers and stop your headaches…
In other news, where can I find another one of you?
January 22, 2012 at 6:44 am
His excuse is that he doped himself up with two kinds of meds before going to bed. So I imagine he’s one step above a coma right now.
In other news, there is only one of me.
January 22, 2012 at 6:49 am
Hey, you can still get it up while comatose. I’m pretty sure, anyway. You’ll just have to do all the work… And if he really IS in that deep a sleep, he won’t even suspect a THING!
In other news, god dammit. Is there a “spot” where ladies like you hang out or something?
Because I would SO move to America for that.
January 22, 2012 at 6:55 am
At the risk of sounding like I’m fishing for a compliment…to what specific quality are you referring?
January 22, 2012 at 7:03 am
At the risk of sounding like I’m A) flirting with a married woman and B) a creepy guy on the internet…
I personally think you’re quite attractive, also you play vidya games, drink the same pirate’s-poison as me, and get “quite randy”. I could be wrong, but I think an attractive-horny-girl-who-plays-video-games-and-drinks-the-same-booze-as-you is probably like, the dream girl for 99% of guys.
Heck, normally it goes “Attractive, Sane, Single, pick two”, so having all of those qualities balled into one is something of a miracle.
Your husband got very lucky with you, if I do say so myself.
January 22, 2012 at 7:15 am
Aw *blush*
Thanks, Doop
I wish I could hook you up with someone who meets your criteria, but.
The bad news is that I don’t know anyone like that besides me. I wish there was someplace where ladies like me hung out! All my female friends have always looked at my gaming as a lovable but inexplicable quirk. Sad to say but hard-drinking, sexy gamer girls are no more common in America than I imagine they are in Australia. But the good news is that they do exist! So I’m sure there are several out there somewhere, wishing they knew where you are.
You’re dead sexy, you know.
January 22, 2012 at 7:42 am
Ah, the Perfect Woman (caps because that’s the name of the mythical creature) is still an extremely rare sight, then. Damn it!
You don’t have to make a compliment up just to return it though 
D’awww shucks! Thanks
Sorry, I don’t take compliments easily, mostly because I have trouble believing them. The only people I’ve ever received them from were the girls I dated, and two out of three of them reversed said compliment a complete 180 degrees and into an insult after we broke up.
The third, I haven’t spoken to SINCE we broke up, so, I can only assume she did the same.
January 22, 2012 at 8:06 am
I didn’t make anything up.
I don’t say things just to say them. And when someone tells you that something they said to you wasn’t true, they are automatically suspect. It’s all politics, and everything they say reveals more about them than about you. So fuck ‘em. Why should it be easier to believe the bad things than the good? It just is, but that doesn’t mean the bad things are always true and the good things are always lies. I can’t be the first person to tell you something nice about yourself and mean it.
January 22, 2012 at 8:07 am
Ha, I just remembered that Arreh said you’re sexy too.
January 22, 2012 at 8:13 am
Come to think of it actually, there was a girl I was texting when I was in West Aus while I was drunk who said “If I wasn’t taken, I’d rape you”. So obviously she finds me attractive. Apart from that, though… Nope.
Growing up, I was always the kid that everyone else picked on. For my weight, for my looks, for my grades, for everything. Eventually I got used to it, and nobody except, as I said, my exes, ever complimented my looks. I’ve had people compliment other qualities of mine, for example, my piano-playing skills after only two years (which I actually find to be quite average/ish), but… That’s really about it.
As for the exes, they never directly turned around and said to me “that wasn’t true by the way”, it was in the comments they made about me to their friends after we had broken up. Some really nasty things. But, like I said, by that time I was used to it.
Truth is, I don’t really have a very high self-esteem at all. But I don’t really care about it, either. Drunk-me has a high enough charisma/opinion of himself for the both of us.
Regardless, thank-you
Oh and I’ve also received compliments about the size of a certain organ from people whom I haven’t been dating but that was more along the lines of “Wait, it’s how long?!” to which I would respond “What, isn’t that the average?”
But I won’t reveal what that body-part is :>
January 22, 2012 at 8:15 am
Man these posts are getting long. And personal.
January 22, 2012 at 8:17 am
WHEN DID ARREH SAY THIS?!
January 22, 2012 at 8:33 am
I recall a comparison to a certain game controller
He said it on 18 January at 6:40 pm.
January 22, 2012 at 8:42 am
Yes, well, you should also recall that said comparison was revoked from the conversation when I realised it wasn’t quite enough
Ahah, that isn’t precise or anything… Wait, is this 6:40 PM Elvis-Land-Time?
January 22, 2012 at 8:45 am
6:40 pm GMT in this very comment thread.
January 22, 2012 at 8:57 am
Oh I see where you mean. ARREH DOESN’T EVEN KNOW WHAT I LOOK LIKE SO THAT DOESN’T COUNT.
January 22, 2012 at 9:42 am
Okay, fair enough. But you must allow that I DO know what you look like, and I said it too. And I’m dead sexy so I know it when I see it.
January 22, 2012 at 10:11 am
I accept that you know what my FACE looks like, but I really think I could stand to hit the gym xD
Coming from a dead sexy person though, tis a nice compliment :> even if it is really based only on my face. When I’m sober.
Unless you’ve been through my tagged photos… Ohgod
January 22, 2012 at 10:22 am
No one is as toned as they could be, except people who are annoying about it. It’s like, stfu about your stupid workouts. Get a life, no I mean a REAL life. I used to be fit like you wouldn’t believe, but I was kind of a dipshit about it. Flexing at people and whatnot.
But not now! XD
January 22, 2012 at 10:49 am
True. But I am very un-toned. And not very strong. I used to be able to lift my body weight really easily. I’d climb up on top of the house every afternoon or night with my cousin and we’d sit there and talk about stuff or watch the stars. They were good times. All the climbing all over the place kept my biceps in check.
Not anymore, though. Now I can barely do ten pull-ups.
January 22, 2012 at 10:55 am
GET A ROOM, YOU TWO
In other news – for randy, try being 18 with a girlfriend a hundred miles away. That’s a long long way in my country. Doop, add me and I will determine if you are sexy or not.
January 22, 2012 at 11:04 am
100 Miles? that’s only an hour and a half or so of a drive, if you go at… whatever 100km an hour is in miles.
As for being randy, try being 20 with no girlfriend, having been dry since May last year…
Eight months man. Eight. Months. Life is not fair.
Also, NOU ADD ME.
January 22, 2012 at 11:12 am
Actually here it’s about 3.25 hours. And hah, like I can afford a car. You know what the price of fuel is here? Lots. About 20 times your prices. That’s how lots. And I’ll be damned if I’m getting a job.
Also NO YOU ADD ME
January 22, 2012 at 11:22 am
Also what time is it wherever you guys are?
January 22, 2012 at 11:24 am
It’s pretty high. I just looked it up, apparently unleaded is 1.33 pounds per litre, which, in AUD is $1.90
For comparison, our fuel is around $1.30, but that’s pretty outrageously high as is… I remember when I was younger fuel was as cheap as 70 – 80 cents. People were outraged when it broke the dollar mark.
Move to Australia with me Arreh. Work in the mines and make $100,000 AUD per year.
Sure, it’s labour… but MONEY. SO MUCH MONEY.
Also, NO I ALREADY ADDED YOU ONCE.
Plus you are the one wanting to see if I am sexy.
January 22, 2012 at 11:27 am
It is 9:28 pm for me.
I believe for BBoP it is GMT – 6 or something. So, about 5:28 am?
January 22, 2012 at 11:32 am
So she’s probably fapped and gone to sleep.
I was going to give you an excellent motivational speech to fill you with a surge of joie de vivre, purely for your own benefit. But if you can’t swallow your pride as well as you swallow the penis of oppression, then I am deeply sorry.
Also, 100k, seriously? Like, seriously seriously?
January 22, 2012 at 12:07 pm
She’s nocturnal, so she may or may not have. Maybe she had some plastic friends to help her out, or something.
Can’t I get the motivational speech anyway? I like being motivated. I don’t like swallowing penis though. That is my LEAST favourite thing to do. You could still add me, you know. Then we could both get motivational speeches!
Also, yes seriously 100k. It’s pretty insane. I am moving over there (the mines are on the other side of the country) as soon as I can, which seems to be backpedalling away from me.
January 22, 2012 at 12:11 pm
Yes, swallowing penis is my least favourite kind of swallowing penis.
And no, it is your motivational speech, you must earn it. It’s worth it, I gotta tell you.
That’s pretty cool. I’m off to uni in October, though, so maybe after that I will come and mine with you and we will be mining buddies.
January 22, 2012 at 1:46 pm
Lots of activity in here, today.
And no, Dupe. I do not have a Facebook account, as it is an enemy of my freedom (link in my name related).
Besides, I am also a mythical being (Wizard), so finding me that easily would kind of remove the fun from the hunt, wouldn’t it?
January 22, 2012 at 2:00 pm
I think I’ve earned a motivational speech just for being so in-to Doctor Who all of a sudden. How did I go so long without ever even streaming this?
I may or may not still be there when you finish uni. I’ll probably only be there a few years at most, earn a small fortune and invest some of it into housing that I can rent out and make money from… Then buy myself a piano, a small apartment in the city, and take up learning the piano properly with discipline so I can get gigs.
But we’ll see.
B-b-b-but Michael… He has your first and last name. And is from Sweden…
January 22, 2012 at 2:33 pm
Well, Doctor Who is awesome, but no.
University is gonna be awesommeeeeeee.
Michael I read your article and the graphic was very scary.
January 22, 2012 at 2:51 pm
I’m actually not that bothered about my information being sold to gub’mint types, really. Or about people on the internet seeing my shit. Nobody can see my address, or my contact numbers, or my emails, and that’s all that matters to me.
The rest are minor details. “Aidan likes this band and this band, Aidan likes this game and this game, Aidan likes this blahblahblah.”
“Aidan went to school here. Four years ago. Good luck finding a relevance.”
January 22, 2012 at 3:09 pm
I know, I don’t view it as a very serious issue, either. It’s just that I was way too late for signing up on Facebook to do it after I got to know about this. I guess I have no real reason to do it since I can get in touch with my friends through other means, too.
January 22, 2012 at 5:19 pm
I think it’s the start of something pretty sinister, and if you visit my name-link you can see a short presentation I did about it.
Okay that’s a lie but you should really click anyway.
January 22, 2012 at 5:21 pm
I went to sleep.
Doop, Arreh, you are both being very stubborn.
January 22, 2012 at 5:30 pm
He’s refusing to add me and all I want to do is help him out and make him happy. That makes me the good guy, and so by process of elimination must make him that bad guy. It’s logic. Sorry Doop, it’s what the Doctor would have wanted.
January 22, 2012 at 10:02 pm
Why Facebook when Google+ ?
January 23, 2012 at 12:40 am
I have Google+ but I can’t get into it.
Arreh, it’s not about who’s right and who’s wrong. It’s about coming together on the internets, in the spirit of brotherhood and sexiness.
January 23, 2012 at 1:14 am
I like your name-link, Arreh.
I already tried adding him and he hated me so much he rejected me and pretended it never happened ;__; that means HE is the bad guy.
Also, BBoP, my star sign is Aries, the mother fucking ram, so I’m stubborn by nature.
If you believe in that crap anyway.
G, Facebook because nobody is on G+. It’s so very cold and lonely over there.
Arreh, again, listen to the female-brother who knows all about sexiness. She speaks great wisdom.
January 23, 2012 at 6:31 am
Doop, Arreh doesn’t hate you. I cite as evidence the link he posted for you, which is very hot.
Now one of you please add the other so we can get on with it.
Also, SCORPIO SEX MANIAC FTW
January 23, 2012 at 6:40 am
I don’t think he posted that for me in particular, but it is quite sexy nonetheless.
Arreh shall add me. It is against my nature to add him, what with the whole hot-headed-stubborn thing.
Scorpio sex maniac eh? Well, that WOULD explain a few things…
January 23, 2012 at 6:58 am
Then I guess it’s down to Arreh who, being a Virgo, is the more likely to take a pragmatic approach.
Arreh, you sensible chap. WOULD YOU KINDLY befriend Doop? We will all chuckle and feel relieved once this nonsense is behind us.
January 23, 2012 at 7:00 am
Hear, hear!
Chuckles and relief for all!
January 23, 2012 at 7:51 am
If Doop messages me saying hi on facebook I will add him. That is my compromise.
January 23, 2012 at 11:20 am
Hmmm, there was no posting on PC Gamer yesterday.
Hopefully this is a protest against SOPA and not another hiatus
January 23, 2012 at 12:20 pm
Hi, Arreh.
there you go!
January 23, 2012 at 3:02 pm
Doesn’t count. Let’s be realistic here.
January 23, 2012 at 3:17 pm
Darn it…
Maybe BBoP will do it again, eventually…
January 23, 2012 at 4:07 pm
BBoP will do what?
She did message me as you, and I almost added you, but it all fell down in the end.
I feel like this should be tiresome, but I have a well conditioned, highly active stubborn streak.
January 23, 2012 at 4:33 pm
I know she did, she told me. That’s why I said “again” and “eventually”.
How did she do that, by the way? It sounds like you almost fell for it, having “almost added” me. I thought she meant on Facebook lol.
Also, I too have a stubborn-streak to maintain. A long one.
Plus I added you first.
January 23, 2012 at 4:51 pm
I assumed, but wanted clarity.
She did this in my facebook inbox:
“[BBoP's facebook]
Hi.
Love,
Doop.
8 hours ago
[Arreh]
Something about this feels wrong.
8 hours ago
[BBoP]
xD
8 hours ago
[Arreh]
I suppose that is something doop would say. Link and I’ll add.”
But then she never did reply, so I didn’t add.
All you have to do is message me, and I’ll add. That’s a very generous compromise. I’m not backing down from that, you know.
January 23, 2012 at 5:35 pm
God dammit BBoP, I could’ve won this war! All you had to do was link him to my profile!! ;_;
All right… Fine… I’ll message you. But you’re not gonna like what it says.
January 23, 2012 at 5:44 pm
VICTORRRYYYYYYY
January 23, 2012 at 5:49 pm
BBoP you never told me how sexy Doop was
January 23, 2012 at 6:08 pm
Sorry, Doop, bit I did tell you I was going to bed. Remember how ridiculous I was at the end? Remember DDammit?
Besides, you’re both winners to me.
January 23, 2012 at 6:29 pm
Sorry, Arreh. I should’ve said. But all’s well that ends well.
January 23, 2012 at 6:52 pm
Doop says he loves me more than you also stuff
January 23, 2012 at 8:06 pm
Quite all right, BBoP, I remember indeed. DDammit… Wow.
Arreh, that’s enough lies! I said no such thing!
I love you all equally.
January 23, 2012 at 10:59 pm
I love you all more then chocolate.
January 24, 2012 at 3:20 am
Perfectly Calm
Gemini
I has facebook
order of things i love
1. Bbop covered in chocolate
2. Bbop
3. Dupersude
4. everyone
5. Arreh
P.S. anyone have any tips on how to hide a boner-thinking about Bbop covered in warm, sticky chocolate got me…in the mood.
January 24, 2012 at 3:40 am
((G))
Sandy, I don’t know what you think I look like, but you’re probably way off.
January 24, 2012 at 4:00 am
Doop, Donnie Darko is on tv
January 24, 2012 at 6:30 am
That’s funny, I could’ve swim posted a reply to G earlier…
I agree with BBoP, Sandy. You’re way off. For starters, BBoP is almost *never* covered in chocolate…
Donnie Darko!! Awesome
I own it on DVD though :>
January 24, 2012 at 6:36 am
Ya, me too, but I haven’t watched it in a while. So it was nice to be surprised by it.
January 24, 2012 at 7:09 am
Indeedily.
Cellar Door.
January 24, 2012 at 7:54 am
Is anyone else starting to freak out about Mass Effect 3?
January 24, 2012 at 7:55 am
Putzy, I think. He’s played through Mass Effect 1 too many times.
TOO MANY, I SAY.
January 24, 2012 at 9:38 am
Hell yeah, ME3 is going to be awesome.
Feeling the hatred from Sanders. In fairness that is like being told by the whiny mosquito that has been annoying you all night that it’s not too fond of you.
And mass effect 1 was certainly purdy ossum, so I don’t blame him.
January 24, 2012 at 10:13 am
http://www.pcgamer.com/2012/01/23/the-elder-strolls-part-7-homeless-romantic/
lol hes gay
January 24, 2012 at 10:19 am
Lolol Arreh. At least your on his list of things he loves. So he still loves you.
January 24, 2012 at 10:35 am
Dupe I have an exam soon but come on facebook chat tootsweet.
January 24, 2012 at 10:36 am
List of things I love, in random order:
Mass Effect
Chocolate
The Crew
saba nigiri
Caffeine
Robo butlers
Lamp
K.Y. Intense
Hilarious glitches
When people walk into poles
January 24, 2012 at 11:23 am
[Story]
The hot caffeine rain pattered gently against Bbop’s chocolate window. Rivulets of hot chocolatey caffeine sludge ran down into delicious puddles below – but Bbop’s attention was fixed solely on her computer monitor, in which her Mass Effect 3 campaign was well under way.
A creaking rumbling alerted her to the presence of Jeffers, her robot butler.
“Damnit Jeffers!” she screamed, rising, “I ordered my K.Y. Intense to be delivered only during the Mass Effect sex scenes!”
“APOLOGIES. MISTRESS. BUT… THE. DOORBELL HAS. JUST RUNG.”
His dulcet, halting tones soothed Bbop’s blind rage. She nodded to herself in decision and strolled off to her front door, stopping only briefly to make a fresh batch of saba nagiri.
“Who is it?” she called out, approaching the door.
In glorious exultation the reply came back.
“Your true love!”
Tears streamed down BBoP’s face as she started to sprint down her surprisingly long hallway.
“Lamp!” she cried, “Oh Lamp! It has been too long, my love. Let me be your Brick once more!”
She flung open the front door, only to find the entire Hiatus Crew there, waiting for her.
With gleeful joy they surged into her house, and into the living room.
Not looking where he was going, doop ran headfirst into BBoP’s ornamental pole. His collision detection then failed, and all his clothes fell off.
THE END
[/Story]
By my calculations, this must now be your most loved story ever, BBoP.
January 24, 2012 at 11:27 am
EPIC
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACANTBREATHE
January 24, 2012 at 11:31 am
That was beautiful…
January 24, 2012 at 5:20 pm
Even *I* liked that one, Arreh. Of course she loves it.
January 25, 2012 at 2:00 am
Probably not, everyone was saying everyone else was sexy so i figured i would give you all the benefit of the doubt and agree.
Arreh, i do actually like you, i just don’t like you as much as i like everyone else on earth-humans that is, so the following don’t count:
Crackers
Niggers
Jews
Atheists
Women
Catholics
Mexicans
Spics
Liberals
Conservatives
Muslims
the French
the English
Homosexuals
Heterosexuals
Asexuals
Bisexuals
Trisexuals
Necrophiliacs
Chinks
Ruskies
Half-Niggers
Democrats
Republicans
Communists
Nazis
Scientologists
Elves
Midgets
Giants
Japs
Indians
Redskins
Canadians
Germans
the Spanish
Guineas
Micks
Hicks
Satanists
Warlocks
Witches
Dead “people”
if i forgot anyone let me know, k
January 25, 2012 at 4:36 am
Well that rules me out.
January 25, 2012 at 7:12 am
That’s a pretty extensive hate-list you got there
January 25, 2012 at 8:36 am
I liked the bit where he doesn’t post on here.
Also doop, your music suggestions were good and helped get me to sleep.10/10 would illegally download again A+++++
January 25, 2012 at 8:38 am
Oh, burn.
I am glad you enjoyed them
So you listened to Joanna Newsom/Laurena Segura as well, then?
January 25, 2012 at 8:51 am
Doop doop doop, one does not simply listen to this kind of music. It is an experience.
So that would be a no, I forgot. Was just listening to instrumental stuff.
January 25, 2012 at 4:59 pm
Sorry, i just needed a reason to type racial slurs.
January 27, 2012 at 4:20 pm
Looks like your racial slurs were too harsh for the Hiatus Crew.
We all died for a day.
January 27, 2012 at 5:40 pm
Or two.
In other news I now have chops like Nordrick’s, albeit, not quite as long.
January 27, 2012 at 10:21 pm
In other other news I spent my entire day playing a flying penguin simulator with doop.
January 28, 2012 at 3:18 am
And I spent my entire night doing so.
PRODUCTIVITY.
January 28, 2012 at 5:03 am
In other news, your mom is a penguin.
January 28, 2012 at 5:17 am
In other news, YOUR FACE IS A PENGUIN!
January 28, 2012 at 5:21 am
YOU
January 28, 2012 at 7:25 am
http://elderscrolls.wikia.com/wiki/Sload
“While young, adults generally lack many of the skills to survive”
“The sload are very cautious. They have no word in their language for adventure. The closest equivalent means tragic disaster.”
“All of their heroic myths are about individuals who sit around and think for years and years, consulting cautiously with wise sload, until they finally act, always deliberately, always successfully. All of their mythic villains act quickly and always fail.”
Nondrick may have Sload ancestery.
January 28, 2012 at 7:45 am
That would partially explain his face.
January 28, 2012 at 8:35 am
Sandy, you left Sloads and part-Sloads off your list.
January 28, 2012 at 8:41 am
In other news
FIREFLY FTW
January 28, 2012 at 3:36 pm
Portal 2.
January 28, 2012 at 3:54 pm
I need to watch firefly.
Also yes portal 2. Needs more portal 2.
January 28, 2012 at 3:58 pm
/remove the light bridge while Arreh is standing on it over a bottomless pit
January 28, 2012 at 4:38 pm
Hehehe, good times.
January 28, 2012 at 8:24 pm
FIREFLY
Y U NO HAVE SEASON 2?
January 28, 2012 at 9:52 pm
And three and four and so on…
January 29, 2012 at 7:39 am
THEY CANCELLED FIREFLY FOR THE LACK OF THE SAME REASON THEY MADE A MOVIE TO WRAP UP EVERYTHING!
POPULARITY.
IT’S FUCKING MADNESS!
Our respective characters from TES4 would approve, at least in their current, canon form.
January 29, 2012 at 7:42 am
Has anyone seen that show Torchwood?
January 29, 2012 at 7:58 am
No. But I’ve heard of it. Points for that?
January 29, 2012 at 8:00 am
I’ve heard of it. Doesn’t it have something to do with Doctor Who?
January 29, 2012 at 8:05 am
I’d first heard of it a few years ago, when it started on TV here. It was some alien-invasion show, or something. Something to do with aliens. That was all I knew.
I *didn’t* know, until recently, that it is in fact a spin-off series of Doctor Who. The name “Torchwood” and the “Torchwood Institute” and “Operation Torchwood” is mentioned throughout Doctor Who, and not knowing anything about it is driving me insane ;_;
January 29, 2012 at 11:25 am
Heh, well, for where you’re at the mystery is a pretty cool aspect of it all. Bask in your ignorance.
January 29, 2012 at 12:52 pm
I did look up “Torchwood” at one point to confirm that there was a link, and I think I seen somewhere that the Captain-Fraud-Scammer guy from the first series was one of the main characters in Torchwood?
January 29, 2012 at 5:56 pm
Hey guys, *very* long time lurker, first time poster. How hangs it?
Dupersude, been working on this for a few months and based on something you said a while back I’ve wanted to ask you to join in since the beginning. Finally ready for the unveil:
tinyurl.com/8493w5f
The FAQ explains the backstory a bit more, in particular the relationship to Chris. If you’d like a spot on the site, get in touch. No worries if not, of course (same applies to all the Hiatus Crew, I guess. Especially anyone who has used a ‘Your mom’ construct in a pithy comeback).
January 29, 2012 at 6:46 pm
W-… Woah…
… People are… *watching* us…
Okay, after going through your site, I have a few questions and points:
1. This “Damien Sanderson” fellow in the FAQ… He wouldn’t happen to be he-whom-we-named-Sandy, would he?
Sandy? Is that you? I just find it odd that sandy’s Xbox Live GT is Sans Sanders. It’s all highly coincidental.
2. Your world record – whyyyyyyy?! Are you insane?! 24 hours?!
I hope I never have a Guitar Hero face-off with you. Congratulations on succeeding, though.
3. “Iron man mode”. No saving, no dying, you say.
But what if you’re playing a game like, say, minecraft? How do you “no save” that?
4. By “spot on the site” do you mean like “another featured author” sort of thing? That could be interesting.
5. Last, but certainly not least… Why me? I mean, why so directly ask me? I am far from leader of the Crew. There are others who are still here who were here before I, why do I feel like I am being addressed as a front-man? It’s weird o-o.
January 29, 2012 at 6:48 pm
Oh also, it hangs a little to the left tonight.
January 29, 2012 at 7:31 pm
Doop, you should do Ocarina of Time ;P
January 30, 2012 at 1:44 am
DS – I’m not really one for getting involved with forums/comments boards usually. I never feel like I’ve got anything substantial to add, and also it’s a time thing… all I ever did was check back rabidly for a new update, then in lieu of those started reading the comments periodically. I bet there are loads of creepy watcher people like me… hey creepy watcher fellows!
I remember you mentioning that you were tempted to start up something similar (apologies if it wasn’t you, which I’m not ruling out) and I thought ‘yeah, he’d be *ace* at writing this kind of stuff’. But to answer your queries:
1) Hmm, don’t think so. He’s just a friend from down the pub – don’t know him well enough to say with any definition, but probably not the same guy. I’ll ask him though.
2) Thanks man, it was beast. Not something I’d care to repeat. 24 hours isn’t a long time to stay awake at all – students do it all the time – but 24 hours of staring at a screen and doing a concentration task made me feel really ill around the 20-hour mark. Again, all for a good cause though so I’ll stop moaning (actually, fuck charity. I use that world Record to get laid all the damn time.)
3) Metaphorical no-save. Obviously you can’t stop a game auto-saving, and you have to save in order to finish off a session to come back to another day. Still, the first death is the point at which it’s all over.
4) Indeed. I’m sure you have better things to do though, but if you ever wanted to do a one-off or a sporadically updated series, you are very welcome. No pressure and go at your own steam.
5) Again, dunno. It’s open to anyone of the regulars, but you just caught my eye more than anyone (I rewrote that about ten times, and can’t get it to sound any less weird than it does).
Blackbirdofpiece – I second that motion.
Obviously some games work way better than others (though Sanderson has done a surprisingly good first draft of Tetris) but the only games I’m outright banning are Skyrim, Oblivion and probably Fallout, purely because they’re Chris’ arena. His Elder Scrolls: Arena, if you will.
January 30, 2012 at 4:26 am
Ah, yes, that was indeed me. I don’t really get why people think I would be good at writing. A few people have said that to me now, but I haven’t actually written anything substantial in about three or four years, since I was in high-school.
Oh, there was one essay I did in my music course last year… But that was about it.
Well, if I remember correctly, the only thing that ever stopped me from doing a write-up like this was because my computer wasn’t good enough (I was running off a netbook for a while. 1GB Ram, and all that… *shudder*), but now that my computer is quite a bit better, I suppose I could…
Hmmm… All right, I’ll do it. This could be interesting.
January 30, 2012 at 7:55 am
It’s not the same person, just another poser wanting to get recognition by leeching off my ever increasing popularity.
My XBL GT is “Sans Rioter”
RIP AND TEAR
January 30, 2012 at 8:16 am
HOLY FUCKING SHIT I AM SO PISSED I JUST READ THE STUPID FUCKING POST ON THAT FAQ ABOUT THIS DAMIEN SANDERSON ASSHOLE WHO IS DOING THINGS IN A FASHION THAT I WOULD THEM IN I SAID NO BEFORE CAUSE I KNOW IT ISNT ME IMMA KILL THAT ASSHOLE HE SENDS HIS REGARDS LIKE ME HE I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT THE EVE ONLINE IS HE EVEN PISSES PEOPLE OFF LIKE I DO WHEN I ACTUALLY TAKE THE TIME TO THINK MY INSULTS AND JUST NOT JUST ANNOY PEOPLE TO DEATH THIS JACKWAGON LIBERAL SCUM-SUCKING PEICE OF COMMUNIST ONLY A TRUE DIRT-EATING DOG-SNIFFING SON OF A BITCH WOULD EVER DO SOMETHING AS HORRIBLY TORMENTFUL AND FLABERGASTEDLY DUCK-LIKE AS THIS ASSHOLE WHAT A DICK I OUGHTA JOIN THE SITE AND WRITE UP SOME BULLSHIT STORY ABOUT A GUY WHO GOES AROUND COMMITS IDENTITY THEFT AND GETS KIDNAPPED BY SADISTIC POS NAZI WHORE WHO DO EVERY HORRIBLE DISGUSTING THING YOU COULD FIND ON GOOGLE TO THIS GUY AND NO I DONT NEED TO BREETH CAUSE I AM TYPING AND TYPING DOESNT USE AIR UNLESS YOUR ONE OF THOSE NEW AGE WHITY TITEY SMALL NUTSAC HIPPY HIPSTER FAG HAGS WHO CANT SHIT WITHOUT BEING A FUCKING BITCH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
January 30, 2012 at 8:39 am
Er… Just ignore him, Mr. Iddon. He’s a little “unstable”, if you know what I mean.
Now, now, Sandy… Take your pills… There we go, there’s a good boy…
January 30, 2012 at 1:01 pm
/slaps dupersude’s hand so he drops the pills, then promptly injects Sandy with horse tranquilizers whilst yelling “Yeeee-haaaa this, motherfucker!” the entire time
January 30, 2012 at 1:54 pm
xD ((Vadermath))
January 30, 2012 at 2:37 pm
/has swapped Vadermath’s horse tranquilisers for syringes of pressured nitrogen.
January 30, 2012 at 3:18 pm
You guys you guys you guys I just finished The Fault in Our Stars and I accidentally all of the tears.
You need to read this book.
January 30, 2012 at 4:26 pm
That Sanderson guy actually sounds pretty cool.
January 30, 2012 at 8:53 pm
Wait, isn’t pressurized Nitrogen just air?.
Irregardless of this i refuse to take my meds! They make Mr. Umbrellas go sleepy time.
I don’t like it when Mr. Umbrellas goes sleepy time because my head gets quiet.
Nordricks getting hitched to an aspiring merchant in Whiterun and Nondrick is stuck somewhere just outside Skingrad.
How unfair.
January 30, 2012 at 9:05 pm
Irregardless = double negative
January 30, 2012 at 10:58 pm
Pressurised nitrogen is just really densely packed nitrogen gas. Air is a mixture of gases, albeit with a significant (about 70%) proportion of nitrogen. Nitrogen bubbles in the blood cause the bends, I believe.
January 31, 2012 at 12:46 am
YOUR MOM HAS THE BENDS
Sorry. I’m irritable.
January 31, 2012 at 2:42 am
blackbirdofpeace – oooh, I like your style.
January 31, 2012 at 2:49 am
YOUR MUM’S FACE HAS THE BENDS.
January 31, 2012 at 2:54 am
Thank you, Zeke.
Doop:
COME AT ME BRO
January 31, 2012 at 8:23 am
Irregardless is a double negative AND a Concerned reference.
What is the “bends”?
I’m not very flexible so this could cause some extremely serious yet mostly fictional issues.
Arreh what gives? You’ve been very Anti-Sandy lately!
Granted everyone here in one way or another is…
…You didn’t take that whole “i like everyone more than Arreh” thing i posted seriously, did you? I thought i rectified that explaining that 4. applies only to human-beings and subsequently and most hatefully list everyone on earth as non or sub-human. there fore there is no 4., i just have a strong attachment to Dupe, Bbop and Chocolate.
Are you heartbroken, Arreh? Did you secretly have a shrine dedicated to me? I went and read all your words regarding my rather distasteful love priority list(for serious, who am i to play favorites?) and it sounds like i really for real upset you. Arreh, i’d like to let you know that i have a high opinion of you in all seriousness(college for physics? i can’t do subtraction!). However until the U.S. legalizes inter-species marriage…
January 31, 2012 at 3:43 pm
wut
Doop, you better have more stories of your life ready, as I am coming home! Also I need to find some exploitable picture of BBoP, to make her happy.
January 31, 2012 at 6:24 pm
YOU GUYS HE DID IT
AND IT IS HILARIOUS
January 31, 2012 at 7:44 pm
I try my best.
February 1, 2012 at 12:04 am
Am i missing something?
February 1, 2012 at 2:47 am
He photoshopped me.
February 1, 2012 at 6:04 pm
Can i see?
February 1, 2012 at 6:22 pm
I should assume so, how else would you be reading this comment thread?
February 1, 2012 at 8:48 pm
Actually i’m blind so i have my indentured servant read me what it says and then type a response. Her name is Shanelle or Latiqua…i can’t remember which.
February 1, 2012 at 9:02 pm
Then how would you view images?
February 2, 2012 at 2:54 am
Lashawndra…Shaquila or whatever describes the image to me.
February 2, 2012 at 4:26 am
Why don’t we just cut out the middleman. My head on the body of a Skyrim giant.
February 2, 2012 at 6:12 am
This is how jobs are lost.
February 2, 2012 at 6:32 am
Are there comments i am not seeing? (dupersude shut up)
Or is this some elaborate scheme to drive me insane?
February 2, 2012 at 6:35 am
By the way this is comment 10,980 and and i was wondering if anyone was going to go insane over being the poster of comment 11,000?
February 2, 2012 at 8:07 am
No one would care enough to cook up an elaborate scheme for you.
There are comments that you need WordPress Gold TM to see. Obviously you don’t have it.
February 2, 2012 at 8:11 am
Sandy doesn’t have WordPress Gold? I thought everyone had that :S
This changes the game completely. NOW WE CAN HAVE SEKRETS CONVERSASHUNS ABOUT HIM
February 2, 2012 at 8:18 pm
Hey, don’t make him go purchase a gold account! That’ll spoil all the fun.
February 2, 2012 at 10:39 pm
I see what you did there!
1. Post in a way that makes it look like i am missing parts of a conversation.
2. Wait for me to take notice.
3. Mention that you can only see certain comments with WordPress Gold.
4. Sandy goes and spends $400 to see comments that were never there.
5. Laugh at him for being dumb.
6. Sandy leaves L.I.O
So i looked at the WordPress Gold thing and nowhere does it mention comments nor does that make any sense. I fairly certain that noone here is stupid enough to spend $400 on something they have no use for.
Better luck next time.
February 2, 2012 at 10:48 pm
Am I the only one that wonders how Skyrim giants reproduce? Where the hell are the females?
February 3, 2012 at 12:42 am
You’re insanely paranoid, man. We didn’t do any such thing. I didn’t know you couldn’t see some comments until you said that.
Look, the best thing to do is just get a Gold account. Better safe than sorry. Plus you’ll be able to see us do, as well as do yourself, this:
Also, BBoP, they have one female.
We’re speaking to her now.
February 4, 2012 at 5:10 pm
That’s a good point actually, with the other creatures like Wolves and Trolls you could excuse the lack of notable differance because they’re animals but with Giants who look like Humans you would expect to see female versions of them.
I heard a rumor about Dog Armor DLC-I honestly don’t think Bethesda would dare release anything close to the Horse Armor dlc.
But i would like it if dogs got some kind of buff, because while it’s all nice and fun in the lower levels, on higher levels most creatures instant-kill dogs
February 4, 2012 at 5:42 pm
Maybe their chromosomes operate differently to humans. Just because they are humanoid in shape – albeit, extremely lanky humanoids – does not mean their genome follows the patterns ours does.
We’ve all heard of dwarven ladies having beards and rough voices, like the men. Why can’t giants be the same?
February 4, 2012 at 10:50 pm
Dupe you have a good point, however correct me if i’m wrong but isn’t that only in LOTR? Of course there is no way to tell if the dwarves of TES lore are like that since they disappeared a million years ago or something. I also remember hearing about how the dwemer are a race of elves that were short and super-smart, So wouldn’t that mean they have more feminine features as opposed to other dwarves who are short men?
Also, what are Genomes and Chromosomes?
February 5, 2012 at 12:50 am
I am a chromosome. The dwemer all decided to go on a picnic. That’s why they’re gone. Nerevar couldn’t come, so he got mad and made it all up. Almsivi of course had to agree, but they got mad and killed him.
February 5, 2012 at 2:25 am
Who?, who and who? whaat?
February 5, 2012 at 5:34 am
Not just in LOTR, there are a few other fantasy-themed series that have manly lady-dwarves.
Basically every person has 36 chromosomes, split into 23 pairs.
In every sperm cell/egg cell, there are half that many (half of each pair). When a mummy and a daddy love each other very much, they decide to make hot, sweet, tender love, and one lucky spermy gets to fuse with one lucky egg, thereby creating the 36 chromosomes as a whole. These chromosomes are what affect everything about a person, your looks, your voice, your hair colour, the shape of your chin, whether you will grow a full manly beard or a patchy piece of shit, etc. etc.
These are called your genes, and the collective term for “genes” and the way they work in all of mankind if the genome.
Anyway the main pair of chromosomes which decide whether or not you have lady-bits or a throbbing meat log used to defile lady-bits, is the XX/XY chromosomes. X chromosomes are responsible for producing oestrogen and such, while the Y chromosome produces testosterone. Of course, this doesn’t necessarily mean that ALL women (XX) will have zero testosterone: everybody grows up differently and there are other things to take into account, as well as so much we, as a race, don’t understand about DNA. But for the most part, that’s why men are masculine and women are feminine.
Also, it’s been found that your genes change across your life time depending on what you do. For example, if you found a pair of twins and separated them at birth, say, put one in the Israeli Circus and the other went on to become an academic in England, if you brought those twins back together twenty years later, they may not look anything like.
More on that can be found here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kp1bZEUgqVI
But my point is, perhaps when giants in Skyrim are born, they are still given beards and deep voices. Perhaps they are like dogs, or cats, in that you can’t really tell a male from a female (unless you are a cat and can smell pheromones).
February 5, 2012 at 12:45 pm
That’s cool and all, dupersude, but it’s actually 46 chromosomes.
February 5, 2012 at 1:16 pm
Oh my, that’s a math failure if I ever saw one.
Thank-you, Michael.
February 5, 2012 at 10:12 pm
OK.
I guess that makes sense?
I see what you mean about Giants though, an alternative is that they are like some West African Frogs and can reproduce without having fun.
February 6, 2012 at 2:59 am
GIANTS WON THE SUPERBOWL!!!
AND I WON 15 DOLLARS!!!
February 6, 2012 at 5:17 am
Fuck the Superbowl.
February 6, 2012 at 7:46 am
Yeah, what she said. Not even really sure which sport it involves. Baseball?
February 6, 2012 at 2:51 pm
It involves American Football and i only cared about it because i bet 15 bucks on the Giants winning and they won.
February 6, 2012 at 8:17 pm
That wouldn’t be very fun for the giants.
February 7, 2012 at 5:21 pm
I meant the New York Giants footbal team, not the mythical creature!
February 7, 2012 at 11:54 pm
Fuck football and $15.
February 7, 2012 at 11:57 pm
I’d like fifteen dollars.
But yeah, fuck football.
February 8, 2012 at 2:38 am
I love you guys.
February 8, 2012 at 4:25 am
D’awww, we love you too BBoP <3
February 8, 2012 at 9:04 am
Don’t you make assumptions about my feelings for BBoP.
Love you BBop
February 8, 2012 at 6:34 pm
Love you, Doop. Love you, Arreh.
February 9, 2012 at 6:18 am
I wasn’t assuming, I knew full well. Still do.
February 12, 2012 at 8:12 pm
Nordrick is dead… LONG LIVE NONDRICK!!!!!
February 12, 2012 at 9:07 pm
Wait, for real? He died?
I haven’t been keeping up.
February 12, 2012 at 10:13 pm
Now that Nordrick is dead, do we return to the chronicles of Nondrick? pleasesayyespleasesayyes…
February 12, 2012 at 11:11 pm
He died?
I was just about to check the pipe for an update and now i’m not sure i want to…
February 13, 2012 at 3:48 am
He had so much to live for :,-(
February 13, 2012 at 5:25 am
Anyone else catch The Walking Dead tonight? It was soooo much more interesting than the past 6 episodes
February 13, 2012 at 6:11 am
That Livingston c*nt better continue the story, somehow.
February 14, 2012 at 9:46 pm
Happy Valentine’s, everyone!
February 14, 2012 at 9:49 pm
Happy commercialised-romance day!
February 15, 2012 at 3:55 am
Happy valentines day to you too guys!
February 15, 2012 at 4:48 am
Alas, poor Nordrick! I knew him, Dovahkiin;a fellow of occasional jest, of most mundane fancy; he hath borne little on his back a thousand times; and now, how abhorred in my imagination it is! My gorge rises at it. Here hung those sideburns that I have mocked I know not how oft. Where be your gibes now?
Rest in Peace, Nordrick, Jasper, My Horse.
Now, let’s please get back to Nondrick, cuz he’s awesome. Trout face… ha.
February 16, 2012 at 3:09 am
Amen.
February 16, 2012 at 6:15 am
Hi guys. Hope you all had some lovely orgasms for v-day.
Shame about Nordrick, but I knew it was too good to last. And I think we all know that Nondrick is finis as well, so here we are again forever.
February 16, 2012 at 5:21 pm
I didn’t read any of the Nordrick entries. I shall stay true to our real lord and saviour – Nondrick.
February 17, 2012 at 4:13 am
Thanks to a mod on Skyrim Nexus, I was able to pay my respects to our beloved Nordrick in a suitable manner…by piling the bodies of the perpetrators on his grave.
http://skyrim.nexusmods.com/imageshare/image.php?id=44589
February 17, 2012 at 5:49 am
Nobody made a mod to pay respects to a potentially deceased NONDRICK though… Traitors!
February 17, 2012 at 11:10 am
Maybe a mod for Skyrim and Oblivion that puts up a bunch of “Have you seen me?” posters everywhere?
February 19, 2012 at 12:13 am
Now that Nordrick is non-advebturing in Sovngarde, can we please have Nondrick back? Or at least a Skyrim thing maybe starring Nordrick’s brother or something?
February 23, 2012 at 8:34 pm
Truly a shame about Nordrick. His exploits were a fun read.
In retrospect, maybe he should have followed George Washington’s advice to “beware entangling alliances.” (i.e., dog, horse) The horse and dog drew him into a fight he couldn’t win, and then threw off his timing/rhythm while he was actually in the fight (getting in front of his weapon, knocking him off the bridge), etc. Sometimes having allies/animals around during combat makes you too conscious of them and their status and not enough about your own situation and the “flow” of the skirmish, until it’s too late. Although he could have possibly used a follower or hired mercenary to draw enemy fire–and warhammers–during that fateful battle.
Anyway, he and his hilarious hijinks will be missed.