The Elder Strolls

For those looking for more Nondrick, well, there isn’t any at the moment.

However, for those of you looking for something that is kinda like Nondrick, there is! PC Gamer asked me to give Skyrim the Nondrick treatment for their website on a weekly basis.

Since I couldn’t really replicate Nondrick’s distinct fish-faced look in Skyrim, and since 200 years have passed since the events of Oblivion, it seemed reasonable to create a new character who just happens to be a distant descendant of Nondrick. Meet Nordrick.

Nordrick will be non-adventuring through Skyrim the way Nondrick did in Oblivion: walking everywhere, avoiding adventure, and trying to scratch out a living. You can read the first installment here. The diary will be running on Saturdays!

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Explore posts in the same categories: Nondrick's Non-adventure, Skyrim

597 Comments on “The Elder Strolls”


  1. Please aim to craft a +3 amulet of fishface.

  2. Markerov Says:

    I knew leaving this RSS in my feed reader was worth it. Will you be posting here whenever a new post come out?

  3. Michael Says:

    What will happen to Nondrick, though? Did he finally die by standing still?

  4. Ian Says:

    My life will have meaning again?! But I’m curious, too, Michael…. Any chance of one last “happily ever after” post for Nondrick? After all, if he has descendants 200 years later, he must end up with a family.

  5. G Says:

    Wait, what the?

  6. Zac Says:

    Yay, he’s alive!

  7. Greg Says:

    How the fuck did Nondrick get laid? Did he just donate sperm anonymously or something? Also, fuck yeah weekly installments.

  8. dupersude Says:

    EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  9. dupersude Says:

    So, wait… What happens to the Crew? Do we hang back here for discussion? PC-Gamer seems very populated…

  10. armahillo Says:

    Is there an RSS feed for the new series?

  11. G Says:

    I’m not sure Dupersude, you have to make an account to post, which would probably seriously curb our over postings…

  12. G Says:

    I can’t rememeber how to fix the italics

  13. Michael Says:

    I think we’ll just stay here, as usual.

    Alternatively, we can breathe life into our site!

  14. G Says:

    What was the link? I think the site needs to be made a new….

  15. Michael Says:

    hiatuscrew.webs.com

    How could you forget, G?

  16. rrgg Says:

    Awesome. If I might add a suggestion, you should still have to sleep after 10pm or so via the wait function if there are no beds nearby.

    In the meantime it should be interesting to see how you get out of dawnstar through the snow wearing only some threadbare clothes and footwraps.

  17. dupersude Says:

    G, worry not, for I remember exactly how to break in italics! Done!
    I like the idea of getting the site running again, but, realistically, who would visit? How often? It would likely only get abandoned again.
    Staying here works good.

  18. Sans Sanders Says:

    OH THANK GOD

    Sorry about being a douche is the comments earlier, i was bored and “needed to accomplish short term goals”. If you catch my meaning. i won’t do that anymore unless Mr. Livingston decides to wait 5 months before posting again. However seeing as though PCgamer is making him pump it out every week, i’ll get my fix and stay sane.

  19. Marc Says:

    So excited for the new adventures!

  20. Michael Says:

    dupe, if you guys started to post again, so would I.

    I’d include it in my daily website check-up.

  21. J Says:

    I cannot begin to describe how excited I am to read Nordrick’s adventures! Since coming across this site in late October I’ve been checking back for possible updates and re-reading past updates daily. Off to see the first of the new posts! *heads to the linked site*

  22. dupersude Says:

    Well, in that case, I’m almost sold.
    Victory cigars would seal the deal.

  23. dupersude Says:

    Just addin’ the site to my name,


  24. So Doop here says the Water Temple ain’t hard. Says he blasted through it in twenty-six minutes when he was just a wee Doop of five.

  25. dupersude Says:

    What?! Lies! Falsities! Blasphemer! Exaggerations! I said no such thing as that!
    First of all, I was EIGHT OR NINE. Not five!
    And second of all, I never once said 26 minutes! It was probably closer to a couple of hours!


  26. On the other hand I, a fully grown and apparently stupid adult of fifty-two, required a navigator with a strategy guide and an IV drip of caffeine to make my painful way through it in just over three days.

    If only I’d known that help was just a phone call away.

  27. dupersude Says:

    The WTF could have saved your life!

    …. in the game.

  28. dupersude Says:

    You didn’t know that? Come on, I thought you did your homework…


  29. I used to be five like Doop…then I took an arrow to the knee.


  30. It was a practice arrow…zero damage supposedly. Yeah, tell that to my patella.

  31. Ian Says:

    Has anyone figured out a way to subscribe to JUST the elder strolls through rss? I really want Chris’ posts on my google reader feed, but I’m sick of 8 other pcgamer posts per day that don’t apply to me.

  32. dupersude Says:

    doran Says:

    December 11, 2011 at 1:40 pm
    There’s a general one for PC gamer, but I’ve created a one for the series here http://pipes.yahoo.com/rssoran/elderstrolls

    Reply

  33. dupersude Says:

    Shit, Tyrone, get it together!


  34. I never do homework, for i live in a cardboard box. + the pipes thing refuses to work, for me at least.

  35. rrgg Says:

    Well, my poor attempt at a no adventuring character just met an abrupt end. Cornered in an old abrupt shack and mauled by a saber cat on his way to windhelm.
    During his journey Uselysses the imperial had visited 5 capitals and ammassed over 1000 septims (even despite all the splurging he did in solitude, 270 gold for black briar reserve, really?). In the meantime he made a living as a scavenger, miner, hunter, migrant farm worker, fashion model, alchemist, and deliveryman. He even delivered things descreetly in case any man needed a “potion of the stallion.”

  36. dupersude Says:

    Tell me, good sir, how does a shack become “brief to the point of rudeness”?

  37. rrgg Says:

    It was supposed to be “abandoned,” and then suddenly I guess it wasn’t, thanks phone.

  38. Ian Says:

    Thanks, dupersude! I’m subscribed now. I appreciate it!

  39. dupersude Says:

    No problem, Ian. I was just copy-pasting what some other guy said anyway.
    So, Crew… Why is it Michael and I are the only ones on the forums? Get awn it!


  40. RIP Bbop. She used to be an adventurer until she contracted fatal jealousyitus and died of pouting too hard.

  41. Michael Says:

    We accept zombies, BBoP.

    You’re still welcome to post in the forums!

  42. Arreh Says:

    I did a post.


  43. Hello everyone, i have nothing to say but i’ll post anyway.

    Actually, i’ve heard “jokes” about Skyrim being made single-handedly by Todd Howard. I know who he is, but what i don’t and want to know is what caused these “jokes” to arise.

    First person to answer gets a cookie!


  44. Here’s a quote from an interview with Todd Howard:

    It seems that audience will get everything it expects from Skyrim, including just a smattering of the … well, let’s call it “technical quirkiness” that Bethesda games are known for. Though Howard and co. have heard the complaints and try to address them, the occasional bug may not be entirely unintentional.

    “We try to solve most of it, we’re sensitive to a lot of it. There is a subset of that where we say ‘Well, that’s what can happen.’ If there’s entertainment value in that, whatever it is, we’ll leave a lot of it. If it’s gonna break the game, or unbalance the game in some way, we do try to solve it. If the solution is gonna make the game less fun … well, hey, leave it in,” Howard said, before adding with a smile, “It’s their game.”

  45. Blah Blahson Says:

    So.. I don’t expect a reply to this, but – are you going to write any more for this Oblivion blog or is that it now that you have Skyrim? I really wanted to see how this ended, even if it was just a quick *gets into fight with city guard over some more stolen flowers, gets killed* 😦


  46. It all makes sense now.

    BBoP, i’m sorry i can’t actually give you cookies. But you were extremely helpful.

    I’m lying, about it making sense not the cookie part.

    If i knew you, i would bake for you unending.


  47. Yeah, I don’t know. I just thought it was funny.

    “That BBoP! What a card!”

    *everyone laughs*

  48. Skafsgaard Says:

    Chris, you’re my fucking hero!
    Thanks so much for doing this. Thanks so much to PC Gamer for sponsoring this. It’ll be just like the good old days – cheers!


  49. *crickets*

    Hello?

    HELLO?!

    It’s so lonely here…


  50. I know, but I can’t go there. I keep getting a proxy error.


  51. I check this site at least once a day usually around 7pm-9pm. So try not to feel too lonely.


  52. Finally got through to the website and was chagrined to see that no one had been there for TWO DAYS.

    *crickets*

    Hello?

    HELLO?!

    it’s so lonely EVERYWHERE I GO…

  53. dupersude Says:

    I’m usually loading the forums up every day.
    I haven’t been lately, because I’ve been out of city and state, as you know. So my laptop time at night has been disrupted.

  54. Arreh Says:

    I kinda like it here, actually.

  55. dupersude Says:

    Here is nice.
    At least we get email notifications here.


  56. E-mail notifications are my favorite kind. I usually get ones related to bills or probation.

    By the way thank you BBoP, your acknowledgement is always appreciated 😛

  57. WB Says:

    As for Nondrick’s fate, I imagine him catching wind of plants that only grow on the plane of Oblivion, and deciding he must have them. He enters an Oblivion Gate and falls madly in love with a female (he hoped) Dremora Caitiff archer in a form-fitting cuirass. Sure, she was firing a barbed arrow into his codpiece at the time, but when she came closer to loot his body and turn him into a decorative wall hanging, she fell for him. It turns out that in Oblivion, ugly is beautiful, and Nondrick was the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen.

  58. dupersude Says:

    *Sniffle*
    That was amazing, WB.


  59. Yes, i had to. Deal with it.

    1. Verb___
    2. Noun___
    3. Noun___
    4. Verb___
    5. Noun___
    6. Noun___
    7. Noun___
    8. Noun___
    9. Verb___
    10. Adjective___
    11. Noun___
    12. Adjective___
    13. Verb___

    As for Nondrick’s fate, I imagine him 1._____ wind of plants that only grow on the plane of 2._________, and deciding he must have them. He enters an 3._________ Gate and 4._____ madly in love with a female (he hoped) 5.__________ archer in a form-fitting 6._______. Sure, she was firing a barbed 7._____ into his 8._____ at the time, but when she came closer to 9.___ his body and turn him into a 10.________ wall hanging, she fell for him. It turns out that in 11.______, ugly is beautiful, and Nondrick was the most 12._______ thing she’d ever 13.____.

  60. Ted Sini Says:

    Ah, crap! No end in sight for our man in Oblivion. He got better-dealed, by his own descendant no less. How am I going to get to sleep now? I guess it’s back to Trazadone.

  61. dupersude Says:

    Happy stolen holiday, and stuff!

  62. Arreh Says:

    Happy christmassssss


  63. Merry Christmas! I hope you all got some quality time with your families, ate some good food, had some laughs.

  64. Michael Says:

    You too, BBoP!

    Have a holly jolly Christmas, everyone.


  65. Hey Michael, don’t worry about having to suspend me, every time i try to sign in it acts as if i haven’t activated my account-which i have.

    i will gladly spend the nessacery time in Putzy’s basement.

    unfortunately i am sick so can it wait a day or two?

  66. Michael Says:

    Sure, just remember to bring the receipt you’ll get after ”spending time” in Putzy’s basement.

  67. Michael Says:

    I am a zombie.


  68. Oh yeah? Well i have Shock Dangerous Stout Homemade Machete with your name on it!

    p.s. Dead Island is fun

    If anyone has it my GT on xbox live is “Sans Rioter”

  69. dupersud Says:

    HAI GUYS.
    So I met putzy the other day.
    … HE DOESN’T EVEN HAVE A BASEMENT.

  70. Michael Says:

    W-what are you saying? Then where is it he has been taking us…?!

    Also, it looks like he stole your e.

  71. G Says:

    Wait, wait wait wait, Putzy no basment?
    But, but, that time, the basement, the chains, the – your lying!

  72. dupersude Says:

    It’s true! I don’t know what that place was that he was taking us for the past few years, but…. It wasn’t his basement.

    Unless the Basement isn’t located in his house, which is also entirely possible.

    Michael, I was posting that from a public-internets machine, Michael. The E key wasn’t working properly and I didn’t realise I’d missed it out in my name until after I’d posted, but I couldn’t be bothered to correct it.

  73. Michael Says:

    Impostor! Putzy ate it.

  74. dupersude Says:

    I just realised I used your name both at the beginning AND end of that first sentence, and it’s kind of weird.
    Ahem. Putzy… Eat my E? HAH
    That would imply putzy is bulimic, because I have my E back now.


  75. http://www.saintsrow.com/community/characters/details/126189308846672311

    I made Nondrick in the saints row 3 initiation station demo-thing.
    Not as good as he could be, but you’ll recognize him.
    I wanted to give him ironic clothing


  76. I don’t think anyone will be on the THC website for some time so i’ll post here what i posted there.

    Yeah, Michael said i should go to Putzy’s Basement and go through the initiation…procedure.

    I know most if not all of you guys have some sort of distaste for me…and rightly so. I have a tendency to be Insane to the point of deserving summary execution.

    My infiltration of the site(something that should be impossible)was performed with the intent to demystify you and show the world your mortality. It was only after i had actually entered this hall of tainted gold, this unimaginably beautiful palace where everything is both sacred and not, that i had realized the error of my ways. I felt a strange sense of both comfort and torment that i enjoyed. The very same humbling sensation i felt when Vadermath graced L.I.O. with presense not too long ago.

    Although i have not proven myself worthy in your eyes, i ask your permission Hiatus Crew, rightful Rulers of WordPress and Defenders of the Nondrick bloodline. To partake in the ritual so very few have had the privlage too.
    I ask to go to Putzy’s Basement
    Both sincerely and not
    San Sanders

  77. UHO Says:

    Great thanks. Its a pity Nondrick ends so… pointless… i think… Is it correct in english? Thats kinda sad. I was waiting for a glorious ending where Nondrick is telling horrible stories to his grandsons in his hovel near the fireplace. Well thanks anyway.
    Happily we have Nordrick now!

  78. Feir Cousat Says:

    lol started reading Nordrick yesterday and i found this today, you guys are so funny

  79. dupersude Says:

    Wow, this place is more dead than a stillborn.
    You’ll have to fill out the appropriate paperwork, Sanders, and the rest of the crew will need to scratch here, sniff there, and sign on that line, as well as mark one of the 20 odd squares on page seventy three with a drop of their own blood.
    But at this rate that’s not looking likely.

    Feir Cousat, we do what we can. Pimpin’ ain’t easy and stuff.

  80. dupersude Says:

    I haven’t been in contact with the rest of the crew lately.
    This is really my main medium of contact with them, except for Putzy, and BBoP, whom I speak to on MSN and Facebook respectively on at least a semi-regular basis.
    But we never discuss crew matters outside of here.
    You’ll just have to wait for everyone to come back, again.

  81. G Says:

    Was it just 3 members of the crew, plus putzy and his basement (apparantly not really his)?

  82. dupersude Says:

    G! YOU’RE BACK!
    What was 3 members of the crew?

  83. G Says:

    Yeah, I’m back, I was just lurking, I decided not to get to involved so I’d revise, but that never happened either, unis suck they all went interviews, except one.
    I thought it was crew policy that all new members must be approved by at least 3 members?

  84. dupersude Says:

    I thought it was meant to be all crew members.
    Or at least, all crew members who aren’t dead, anyway.


  85. MAH FRANS!

    *grins maniacally*

  86. dupersude Says:

    I’m not sure. I vaguely remember knowing, once, long ago. But this knowledge seems to have faded into the mists of time.
    I think it may have been an alternate account? Not sure.

    BBoP! YOU’RE ALIVE!


  87. Hai, watashi wa not dead yet.

    ((G))

    Good to see you. Or, Um…your name. Your initial. Dammit. Hi G 😀

  88. dupersude Says:

    Ffffuck I love boobs, though.
    I just really love them.
    Fuck I love boobs, though.
    I just wanna rub them.


  89. Boobs are pretty cool.


  90. Tim Minchin looks very much like a guy I used to date. I always wondered what hey would’ve looked like with guyliner. Now I know: pretty hot.


  91. what *HE* would’ve looked like.

  92. dupersude Says:

    He’s one of my idols when it comes to composing 😀

  93. Michael Says:

    Did someone call for a Hiatus Crew Representative?


  94. Well, i for one am glad that at least BBOP and Arreh have survived new years!

    I cannot say the same for my dignity, my dog or my self-esteem.

  95. dupersude Says:

    Did your dog really die?

  96. Arreh Says:

    I forgot how to into formatting, but I hope this comic makes you feel better about the loss of your dog.

    tinyurl.com/7npw7gm

    He is having a great time in doggy heaven.

  97. Vadermath Says:

    …how many years does the Crew have nowadays, anyway?

    It has managed to last more than many rock bands!

    Well, not really *many*, but still!

  98. Sans Sanders Says:

    Yeah he did, he was old anyway so when i woke up and he didn’t i wasn’t surprised. he had issues with his back-something like arthritis. I don’t remember the actual name of it. I had seen the writing on the wall for months and i honestly don’t whether it’s worse to see it coming or not. But i’m gonna miss him. He was a Irish Terrier/German Shepard mix and although he was originally named Anubis, I ended up calling him Hank. i honestly don’t remember why.

    Arreh, whilst i am grateful for the thought i won’t be trusting a “tinyurl” link anytime soon. last time i clicked one i lost my innocence.

  99. Michael Says:

    Sanders, why I am sorry for the loss of your dog, I can guarantee you that the link won’t destroy what little is left of your innocence.

    It is completely safe.

  100. Sans Sanders Says:

    Clicking it now + this guy http://www.youtube.com/user/agrmonster

    or girl, i don’t actually know.

    IT makes funny videos related to TESV, FO3.

    You should check it out.

  101. dupersude Says:

    Sorry to hear about your loss, Sandy.
    By the way, I’m calling you Sandy from now on.

    Vadermath, the Crew has been around (if I remember correctly) since around October 2008. So almost four years.
    I’ve been here since about May/June 2009.


  102. 4 YEARS? WOW that’s longer than most marriages!

  103. dupersude Says:

    Well, It’s probably closer to three and a half. But I’m pretty sure the Crew was founded mid to late 2008. so yeah.

    P.S.
    … Saaaaaannnndyyyyyy.


  104. The spongebob episode with the talking gay squirrel singing about Texas!

    Or is it the gay Texan singing talking about singing squirrels?
    I don’t remember which…

    P.S.
    …Duuuuuuppppeeeeyyyyyyy


  105. I’ve been married for seventeen years. Er, I mean five. It just feels like seventeen. Haha.

    Arreh 😀 what the hell, man?

  106. dupersude Says:

    Call me Dupey all you want, Sandy. BBoP uses similar names. And on Facebook, too.

    BBoP, if you’ve been married 17 years, then those are some slowwww growing children! I envy them…


  107. ❤ (((Doop))) ❤

  108. dupersude Says:

    Thaaaat’s the one!
    Heh, i just realised you have the same initials as the Men in Black movie 😀
    You can be Agent M.


  109. Oh no, you’re onto me.

    *flashy memory-wipe thingy flashes*

    So you were saying that you ran right into a pole and your drink sprayed all over the place?

  110. dupersude Says:

    I wasn’t running! And I didn’t hit the pole! I was walking away from the car waving bye to Putz when I’d had enough of that drink always talking smack about me behind my back, so me and my friend the pole took it out.
    That drink had it coming, though.


  111. Totally. What a dick. Don’t know what it had against you. Absolutely got what it deserved.

    One time, in the Target parking lot, my brother walked into a pole because he was looking at a girl instead of where he was going. And it made a loud sound like “BONGngngng” and I was laughing so hard I tripped on a curb.

  112. dupersude Says:

    Exactly! You and putzy both understand where I’m coming from! 😀

    Bahahahah! That would’ve been hilariously awesome.
    Even more awesome for a third party to observe both his walk into the pole, AND your trip on the curb 😀


  113. A third party was observing, in the form of my mother. She didn’t really laugh. I imagine her thought process was as follows:

    These, my children, are my legacy. *facepalm*

  114. dupersude Says:

    Well, if the third party was myself instead of your mother, there would have been many more lulz had.
    And then Murphy’s Law would mean I’d have to trip over a shopping cart while laughing at your pain, or something.

  115. BiGtOnY1998 Says:

    sup boyz nondick sukz he gay hes a fag fck u all ur a grup dum. U HER ME CRIS, UR GAY, U SUK COCK

    and how do u finis da solinude qust? i ned halp fast.

    -BiGtOnY, da biggist niffa en da land, niggas.

  116. dupersude Says:

    Not sure if troll, or illiterate inbred hobo…


  117. SOrrY tHat WaS meee im SoooOOOoo drunk ritenow

  118. dupersude Says:

    Somehow, I don’t think you become that illiterate when drunk, BBoP.

  119. Arreh Says:

    Wait, BBoP, what did I do?

    Also guys you’re all well sexy.


  120. As are you, Arreh. I just think it’s funny that you’re finally my frand, after I gave up all hope and forgot. 😀

  121. dupersude Says:

    I am still rejected ;_;
    I think BBoP has the most crew friends out of all of us.

  122. Arreh Says:

    Dupe, which one are you? I’m not sure I’ve had a request from you.


  123. Arreh, I just messaged you on Fb. Burn it as soon as you’ve read it.

  124. dupersude Says:

    We’ve been over this before, a long time ago.
    I friend requested you, and Ian a while ago. I never got a response from Ian and you seemed to accept and then delete me a short while later. S’cool though, I gave up after that. Also I am the one who runs the hiatus crew page. I am… YOUR FATHER.

  125. Arreh Says:

    Maybe I thought you were someone else. Dupe, if you added me now I would totally accept. No questions asked.

    BBoP, I will frame that message and treasure it forever.


  126. Arreh, if you can’t keep the sensitive information safe, then I’m glad I didn’t tell you EVERYthing.

  127. Arreh Says:

    I’ll keep it safe I promise I promise tell me more tell me tell me tell me tell me

  128. dupersude Says:

    Why am I being left out of all this secrecy ;_; I thought WE WERE FRIENDS, BBOP! I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIIIIEEEEEENDSSSSS.

  129. Arreh Says:

    Because I can swim like a dolphin


  130. Doop, we ARE friends. I only told him things you already know such as your real name.

  131. Arreh Says:

    Your POWER NAME

    Now I can control you, dupe. Or should I say, BLARTWARD FALDENSTEIN


  132. THIS IS HOW YOU BEHAVE

    Sorry, Doop. My judgment failed me. I thought Arreh could be trusted.

  133. Michael Says:

    Blartward Faldenstein? Damn, that’s one badass name.

  134. Sans Sanders Says:

    I should have stayed a lurker.

    Honestly, no matter how much of an idiot i am or how much noone here cares for me. I like you guys-you make me laugh.

    Anywhere from a chuckle to the changing of multiple pairs of underwear.

    I’d like to let you know that, unless called out, i will return to lurking.

    I will be watching-always.

  135. dupersude Says:

    OH NOES please nobody use my command name ;_; I am to that as Jack Ryan is to “Would you kindly?”

    Also, Michael, I think I found you on facebook. Permission to add? I didn’t want to seem like a creepy stalker or something.

    Aww Sandy. At least you’ll come back to us, like a puppy for his ball… I think you were starting to make a positive impact on the crew too.
    As opposed to the giant negativity crater you cause by being an annoying, illiterate asshole. 😀

  136. Arreh Says:

    Don’t worry Doop, I’ve got power names for everyone else, so I’ll crack down any trouble they may give you. I’ve even got my own power name if I start to cause trouble.


  137. Is it horny in here, or is that just me?

    Side note: haven’t any of you punks seen Game of Thrones yet?

  138. dupersude Says:

    But now, EVERYONE knows my power name, and they could make me do any- ohgod.
    … No… No don’t make me-.. NO. I WON’T SAY THAT. GET OUT OF MY HEA-….
    ….. Horny in here, BBoP? Pass the rum and let’s party alreadyOH GOD IT’S HAPPENING THEY’RE ALREADY ABUSING MY POWER NAME ;_;

  139. dupersude Says:

    On a more serious note (as serious as it gets in this blog anyway), no, I haven’t seen Game of Thrones yet. I’ve just started watching Doctor Who.

    Has anyone read Looking For Alaska? Because you should.


  140. Those excerpts you posted piqued my interest, but I can’t read anything right now that’s going to make me cry.

  141. dupersude Says:

    But it will also make you laugh! And be angry at the characters and feel betrayed and all sorts of emotions. ALL OF THEM.


  142. There are roughly 17 thousand emotions that I don’t enjoy, being an extremely emotional person but also very cerebral. That, uh uh uh, that often causes me to resent my own feelings, uh you see, being at the mercy of my own chemical reactions, and then I uh begin to feel this crushing resentment of my physical body and the less convenient of its functions. For example, I am uh shall we say quite randy at the moment, but my husband is asleep, which is uh uh I’m sure you can agree QUITE the conundrum. So whereas you can read a book and feel ALL the emotions and then go about your life, I will read that same book, feel all the emotions, and hate myself for several days.

    Speaking of which, what pissed Sandy off all of a sudden?

  143. dupersude Says:

    I too am an emotional person. Why do such things make you hate yourself? I didn’t just read it and go about my life, for the record. It was too important to me to just fob it off when I was done. That book stays with me.
    I think I’ll read it again tomorrow.

    As for the husband thing, if he’s any sort of normal husband you should be able to just take your pants off and straddle his waist to have him bend to your will.
    Unless you’re wearing a dress or a skirt, in which case a lack of under-garments would work nicely too.

    That was my weakness anyway…


  144. My feelings don’t always make me hate myself. Just when there’s drama and I’m in a certain frame of mind to go to a dark place and linger there, it’s best for me to avoid exacerbating it. Things are pretty good for the most part, but there’s a shadowy corner I’m trying not to notice, let alone sit in.

    As for the husband thing, ordinarily I would go after it and he would oblige. But he’s been moping about for several days with a cold. Blech.

  145. dupersude Says:

    SOUNDS LIKE SOMEONE NEEDS TO MESSAGE SOMEONE ELSE AND TELL THEM WHAT’S UP AND AND STUFF.

    So what’s his excuse? “This cold is giving me a headache”? Because that’s a terrible excuse.
    Really. Orgasms produce endorphins which act as painkillers and stop your headaches…

    In other news, where can I find another one of you?


  146. His excuse is that he doped himself up with two kinds of meds before going to bed. So I imagine he’s one step above a coma right now.

    In other news, there is only one of me.

  147. dupersude Says:

    Hey, you can still get it up while comatose. I’m pretty sure, anyway. You’ll just have to do all the work… And if he really IS in that deep a sleep, he won’t even suspect a THING!

    In other news, god dammit. Is there a “spot” where ladies like you hang out or something?
    Because I would SO move to America for that.


  148. At the risk of sounding like I’m fishing for a compliment…to what specific quality are you referring?

  149. dupersude Says:

    At the risk of sounding like I’m A) flirting with a married woman and B) a creepy guy on the internet…
    I personally think you’re quite attractive, also you play vidya games, drink the same pirate’s-poison as me, and get “quite randy”. I could be wrong, but I think an attractive-horny-girl-who-plays-video-games-and-drinks-the-same-booze-as-you is probably like, the dream girl for 99% of guys.
    Heck, normally it goes “Attractive, Sane, Single, pick two”, so having all of those qualities balled into one is something of a miracle.
    Your husband got very lucky with you, if I do say so myself.


  150. Aw *blush*

    Thanks, Doop 🙂

    I wish I could hook you up with someone who meets your criteria, but.

    The bad news is that I don’t know anyone like that besides me. I wish there was someplace where ladies like me hung out! All my female friends have always looked at my gaming as a lovable but inexplicable quirk. Sad to say but hard-drinking, sexy gamer girls are no more common in America than I imagine they are in Australia. But the good news is that they do exist! So I’m sure there are several out there somewhere, wishing they knew where you are.

    You’re dead sexy, you know.

  151. dupersude Says:

    Ah, the Perfect Woman (caps because that’s the name of the mythical creature) is still an extremely rare sight, then. Damn it!
    D’awww shucks! Thanks 😀 You don’t have to make a compliment up just to return it though 😉

    Sorry, I don’t take compliments easily, mostly because I have trouble believing them. The only people I’ve ever received them from were the girls I dated, and two out of three of them reversed said compliment a complete 180 degrees and into an insult after we broke up.
    The third, I haven’t spoken to SINCE we broke up, so, I can only assume she did the same.


  152. I didn’t make anything up. 😛 I don’t say things just to say them. And when someone tells you that something they said to you wasn’t true, they are automatically suspect. It’s all politics, and everything they say reveals more about them than about you. So fuck ’em. Why should it be easier to believe the bad things than the good? It just is, but that doesn’t mean the bad things are always true and the good things are always lies. I can’t be the first person to tell you something nice about yourself and mean it.


  153. Ha, I just remembered that Arreh said you’re sexy too.

  154. dupersude Says:

    Come to think of it actually, there was a girl I was texting when I was in West Aus while I was drunk who said “If I wasn’t taken, I’d rape you”. So obviously she finds me attractive. Apart from that, though… Nope.

    Growing up, I was always the kid that everyone else picked on. For my weight, for my looks, for my grades, for everything. Eventually I got used to it, and nobody except, as I said, my exes, ever complimented my looks. I’ve had people compliment other qualities of mine, for example, my piano-playing skills after only two years (which I actually find to be quite average/ish), but… That’s really about it.
    As for the exes, they never directly turned around and said to me “that wasn’t true by the way”, it was in the comments they made about me to their friends after we had broken up. Some really nasty things. But, like I said, by that time I was used to it.

    Truth is, I don’t really have a very high self-esteem at all. But I don’t really care about it, either. Drunk-me has a high enough charisma/opinion of himself for the both of us.

    Regardless, thank-you 🙂

    Oh and I’ve also received compliments about the size of a certain organ from people whom I haven’t been dating but that was more along the lines of “Wait, it’s how long?!” to which I would respond “What, isn’t that the average?”
    But I won’t reveal what that body-part is :>

  155. dupersude Says:

    Man these posts are getting long. And personal.

  156. dupersude Says:

    WHEN DID ARREH SAY THIS?!


  157. I recall a comparison to a certain game controller 😉

    He said it on 18 January at 6:40 pm.

  158. dupersude Says:

    Yes, well, you should also recall that said comparison was revoked from the conversation when I realised it wasn’t quite enough 😛

    Ahah, that isn’t precise or anything… Wait, is this 6:40 PM Elvis-Land-Time?


  159. 6:40 pm GMT in this very comment thread.

  160. dupersude Says:

    Oh I see where you mean. ARREH DOESN’T EVEN KNOW WHAT I LOOK LIKE SO THAT DOESN’T COUNT.


  161. Okay, fair enough. But you must allow that I DO know what you look like, and I said it too. And I’m dead sexy so I know it when I see it.

  162. dupersude Says:

    I accept that you know what my FACE looks like, but I really think I could stand to hit the gym xD
    Coming from a dead sexy person though, tis a nice compliment :> even if it is really based only on my face. When I’m sober.
    Unless you’ve been through my tagged photos… Ohgod


  163. No one is as toned as they could be, except people who are annoying about it. It’s like, stfu about your stupid workouts. Get a life, no I mean a REAL life. I used to be fit like you wouldn’t believe, but I was kind of a dipshit about it. Flexing at people and whatnot.

    But not now! 😄

  164. dupersude Says:

    True. But I am very un-toned. And not very strong. I used to be able to lift my body weight really easily. I’d climb up on top of the house every afternoon or night with my cousin and we’d sit there and talk about stuff or watch the stars. They were good times. All the climbing all over the place kept my biceps in check.
    Not anymore, though. Now I can barely do ten pull-ups.

  165. Arreh Says:

    GET A ROOM, YOU TWO

    In other news – for randy, try being 18 with a girlfriend a hundred miles away. That’s a long long way in my country. Doop, add me and I will determine if you are sexy or not.

  166. dupersude Says:

    100 Miles? that’s only an hour and a half or so of a drive, if you go at… whatever 100km an hour is in miles.
    As for being randy, try being 20 with no girlfriend, having been dry since May last year…
    Eight months man. Eight. Months. Life is not fair.

    Also, NOU ADD ME.

  167. Arreh Says:

    Actually here it’s about 3.25 hours. And hah, like I can afford a car. You know what the price of fuel is here? Lots. About 20 times your prices. That’s how lots. And I’ll be damned if I’m getting a job.

    Also NO YOU ADD ME

  168. Arreh Says:

    Also what time is it wherever you guys are?

  169. dupersude Says:

    It’s pretty high. I just looked it up, apparently unleaded is 1.33 pounds per litre, which, in AUD is $1.90
    For comparison, our fuel is around $1.30, but that’s pretty outrageously high as is… I remember when I was younger fuel was as cheap as 70 – 80 cents. People were outraged when it broke the dollar mark.
    Move to Australia with me Arreh. Work in the mines and make $100,000 AUD per year.
    Sure, it’s labour… but MONEY. SO MUCH MONEY.

    Also, NO I ALREADY ADDED YOU ONCE.
    Plus you are the one wanting to see if I am sexy.

  170. dupersude Says:

    It is 9:28 pm for me.
    I believe for BBoP it is GMT – 6 or something. So, about 5:28 am?

  171. Arreh Says:

    So she’s probably fapped and gone to sleep.

    I was going to give you an excellent motivational speech to fill you with a surge of joie de vivre, purely for your own benefit. But if you can’t swallow your pride as well as you swallow the penis of oppression, then I am deeply sorry.

    Also, 100k, seriously? Like, seriously seriously?

  172. dupersude Says:

    She’s nocturnal, so she may or may not have. Maybe she had some plastic friends to help her out, or something.

    Can’t I get the motivational speech anyway? I like being motivated. I don’t like swallowing penis though. That is my LEAST favourite thing to do. You could still add me, you know. Then we could both get motivational speeches!

    Also, yes seriously 100k. It’s pretty insane. I am moving over there (the mines are on the other side of the country) as soon as I can, which seems to be backpedalling away from me.

  173. Arreh Says:

    Yes, swallowing penis is my least favourite kind of swallowing penis.

    And no, it is your motivational speech, you must earn it. It’s worth it, I gotta tell you.

    That’s pretty cool. I’m off to uni in October, though, so maybe after that I will come and mine with you and we will be mining buddies.

  174. Michael Says:

    Lots of activity in here, today.

    And no, Dupe. I do not have a Facebook account, as it is an enemy of my freedom (link in my name related).

    Besides, I am also a mythical being (Wizard), so finding me that easily would kind of remove the fun from the hunt, wouldn’t it?

  175. dupersude Says:

    I think I’ve earned a motivational speech just for being so in-to Doctor Who all of a sudden. How did I go so long without ever even streaming this?

    I may or may not still be there when you finish uni. I’ll probably only be there a few years at most, earn a small fortune and invest some of it into housing that I can rent out and make money from… Then buy myself a piano, a small apartment in the city, and take up learning the piano properly with discipline so I can get gigs.
    But we’ll see.

    B-b-b-but Michael… He has your first and last name. And is from Sweden…

  176. Arreh Says:

    Well, Doctor Who is awesome, but no.

    University is gonna be awesommeeeeeee.

    Michael I read your article and the graphic was very scary.

  177. dupersude Says:

    I’m actually not that bothered about my information being sold to gub’mint types, really. Or about people on the internet seeing my shit. Nobody can see my address, or my contact numbers, or my emails, and that’s all that matters to me.
    The rest are minor details. “Aidan likes this band and this band, Aidan likes this game and this game, Aidan likes this blahblahblah.”
    “Aidan went to school here. Four years ago. Good luck finding a relevance.”

  178. Michael Says:

    I know, I don’t view it as a very serious issue, either. It’s just that I was way too late for signing up on Facebook to do it after I got to know about this. I guess I have no real reason to do it since I can get in touch with my friends through other means, too.

  179. Arreh Says:

    I think it’s the start of something pretty sinister, and if you visit my name-link you can see a short presentation I did about it.

    Okay that’s a lie but you should really click anyway.


  180. I went to sleep.

    Doop, Arreh, you are both being very stubborn.

  181. Arreh Says:

    He’s refusing to add me and all I want to do is help him out and make him happy. That makes me the good guy, and so by process of elimination must make him that bad guy. It’s logic. Sorry Doop, it’s what the Doctor would have wanted.

  182. G Says:

    Why Facebook when Google+ ?


  183. I have Google+ but I can’t get into it.

    Arreh, it’s not about who’s right and who’s wrong. It’s about coming together on the internets, in the spirit of brotherhood and sexiness.

  184. dupersude Says:

    I like your name-link, Arreh.

    I already tried adding him and he hated me so much he rejected me and pretended it never happened ;__; that means HE is the bad guy.
    Also, BBoP, my star sign is Aries, the mother fucking ram, so I’m stubborn by nature.
    If you believe in that crap anyway.

    G, Facebook because nobody is on G+. It’s so very cold and lonely over there.

    Arreh, again, listen to the female-brother who knows all about sexiness. She speaks great wisdom.


  185. Doop, Arreh doesn’t hate you. I cite as evidence the link he posted for you, which is very hot.

    Now one of you please add the other so we can get on with it.

    Also, SCORPIO SEX MANIAC FTW

  186. dupersude Says:

    I don’t think he posted that for me in particular, but it is quite sexy nonetheless.

    Arreh shall add me. It is against my nature to add him, what with the whole hot-headed-stubborn thing.

    Scorpio sex maniac eh? Well, that WOULD explain a few things…


  187. Then I guess it’s down to Arreh who, being a Virgo, is the more likely to take a pragmatic approach.

    Arreh, you sensible chap. WOULD YOU KINDLY befriend Doop? We will all chuckle and feel relieved once this nonsense is behind us.

  188. dupersude Says:

    Hear, hear!

    Chuckles and relief for all!

  189. Arreh Says:

    If Doop messages me saying hi on facebook I will add him. That is my compromise.

  190. Spraggle Says:

    Hmmm, there was no posting on PC Gamer yesterday.
    Hopefully this is a protest against SOPA and not another hiatus 🙂

  191. dupersude Says:

    Hi, Arreh.

    there you go!

  192. Arreh Says:

    Doesn’t count. Let’s be realistic here.

  193. dupersude Says:

    Darn it…

    Maybe BBoP will do it again, eventually…

  194. Arreh Says:

    BBoP will do what?

    She did message me as you, and I almost added you, but it all fell down in the end.

    I feel like this should be tiresome, but I have a well conditioned, highly active stubborn streak.

  195. dupersude Says:

    I know she did, she told me. That’s why I said “again” and “eventually”.
    How did she do that, by the way? It sounds like you almost fell for it, having “almost added” me. I thought she meant on Facebook lol.
    Also, I too have a stubborn-streak to maintain. A long one.
    Plus I added you first.

  196. Arreh Says:

    I assumed, but wanted clarity.

    She did this in my facebook inbox:

    “[BBoP’s facebook]
    Hi.

    Love,
    Doop.

    8 hours ago

    [Arreh]
    Something about this feels wrong.

    8 hours ago

    [BBoP]
    xD

    8 hours ago

    [Arreh]
    I suppose that is something doop would say. Link and I’ll add.”

    But then she never did reply, so I didn’t add.

    All you have to do is message me, and I’ll add. That’s a very generous compromise. I’m not backing down from that, you know.

  197. dupersude Says:

    God dammit BBoP, I could’ve won this war! All you had to do was link him to my profile!! ;_;

    All right… Fine… I’ll message you. But you’re not gonna like what it says.

  198. Arreh Says:

    VICTORRRYYYYYYY

  199. Arreh Says:

    BBoP you never told me how sexy Doop was


  200. Sorry, Doop, bit I did tell you I was going to bed. Remember how ridiculous I was at the end? Remember DDammit?

    Besides, you’re both winners to me.


  201. Sorry, Arreh. I should’ve said. But all’s well that ends well.

  202. Arreh Says:

    Doop says he loves me more than you also stuff

  203. dupersude Says:

    Quite all right, BBoP, I remember indeed. DDammit… Wow.

    Arreh, that’s enough lies! I said no such thing!
    I love you all equally. 🙂

  204. G Says:

    I love you all more then chocolate.

  205. Sans Sanders Says:

    Perfectly Calm
    Gemini
    I has facebook

    order of things i love

    1. Bbop covered in chocolate
    2. Bbop
    3. Dupersude
    4. everyone
    5. Arreh

    P.S. anyone have any tips on how to hide a boner-thinking about Bbop covered in warm, sticky chocolate got me…in the mood.


  206. ((G))

    Sandy, I don’t know what you think I look like, but you’re probably way off.


  207. Doop, Donnie Darko is on tv 😀

  208. dupersude Says:

    That’s funny, I could’ve swim posted a reply to G earlier…

    I agree with BBoP, Sandy. You’re way off. For starters, BBoP is almost *never* covered in chocolate…

    Donnie Darko!! Awesome 😀 I own it on DVD though :>


  209. Ya, me too, but I haven’t watched it in a while. So it was nice to be surprised by it.

  210. dupersude Says:

    Indeedily.

    Cellar Door.


  211. Is anyone else starting to freak out about Mass Effect 3?

  212. dupersude Says:

    Putzy, I think. He’s played through Mass Effect 1 too many times.
    TOO MANY, I SAY.

  213. Arreh Says:

    Hell yeah, ME3 is going to be awesome.

    Feeling the hatred from Sanders. In fairness that is like being told by the whiny mosquito that has been annoying you all night that it’s not too fond of you.

    And mass effect 1 was certainly purdy ossum, so I don’t blame him.

  214. dupersude Says:

    Lolol Arreh. At least your on his list of things he loves. So he still loves you.

  215. Arreh Says:

    Dupe I have an exam soon but come on facebook chat tootsweet.


  216. List of things I love, in random order:

    Mass Effect
    Chocolate
    The Crew
    saba nigiri
    Caffeine
    Robo butlers
    Lamp
    K.Y. Intense
    Hilarious glitches
    When people walk into poles

  217. Arreh Says:

    [Story]

    The hot caffeine rain pattered gently against Bbop’s chocolate window. Rivulets of hot chocolatey caffeine sludge ran down into delicious puddles below – but Bbop’s attention was fixed solely on her computer monitor, in which her Mass Effect 3 campaign was well under way.

    A creaking rumbling alerted her to the presence of Jeffers, her robot butler.

    “Damnit Jeffers!” she screamed, rising, “I ordered my K.Y. Intense to be delivered only during the Mass Effect sex scenes!”

    “APOLOGIES. MISTRESS. BUT… THE. DOORBELL HAS. JUST RUNG.”

    His dulcet, halting tones soothed Bbop’s blind rage. She nodded to herself in decision and strolled off to her front door, stopping only briefly to make a fresh batch of saba nagiri.

    “Who is it?” she called out, approaching the door.

    In glorious exultation the reply came back.

    “Your true love!”

    Tears streamed down BBoP’s face as she started to sprint down her surprisingly long hallway.

    “Lamp!” she cried, “Oh Lamp! It has been too long, my love. Let me be your Brick once more!”

    She flung open the front door, only to find the entire Hiatus Crew there, waiting for her.

    With gleeful joy they surged into her house, and into the living room.

    Not looking where he was going, doop ran headfirst into BBoP’s ornamental pole. His collision detection then failed, and all his clothes fell off.

    THE END

    [/Story]

    By my calculations, this must now be your most loved story ever, BBoP.


  218. EPIC

    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACANTBREATHE

  219. dupersude Says:

    That was beautiful…

  220. Michael Says:

    Even *I* liked that one, Arreh. Of course she loves it.


  221. Probably not, everyone was saying everyone else was sexy so i figured i would give you all the benefit of the doubt and agree.

    Arreh, i do actually like you, i just don’t like you as much as i like everyone else on earth-humans that is, so the following don’t count:

    Crackers
    Niggers
    Jews
    Atheists
    Women
    Catholics
    Mexicans
    Spics
    Liberals
    Conservatives
    Muslims
    the French
    the English
    Homosexuals
    Heterosexuals
    Asexuals
    Bisexuals
    Trisexuals
    Necrophiliacs
    Chinks
    Ruskies
    Half-Niggers
    Democrats
    Republicans
    Communists
    Nazis
    Scientologists
    Elves
    Midgets
    Giants
    Japs
    Indians
    Redskins
    Canadians
    Germans
    the Spanish
    Guineas
    Micks
    Hicks
    Satanists
    Warlocks
    Witches
    Dead “people”

    if i forgot anyone let me know, k


  222. Well that rules me out.

  223. dupersude Says:

    That’s a pretty extensive hate-list you got there

  224. Arreh Says:

    I liked the bit where he doesn’t post on here.

    Also doop, your music suggestions were good and helped get me to sleep.10/10 would illegally download again A+++++

  225. dupersude Says:

    Oh, burn.

    I am glad you enjoyed them 😀 So you listened to Joanna Newsom/Laurena Segura as well, then?

  226. Arreh Says:

    Doop doop doop, one does not simply listen to this kind of music. It is an experience.

    So that would be a no, I forgot. Was just listening to instrumental stuff.


  227. Sorry, i just needed a reason to type racial slurs.

  228. Michael Says:

    Looks like your racial slurs were too harsh for the Hiatus Crew.

    We all died for a day.

  229. dupersude Says:

    Or two.

    In other news I now have chops like Nordrick’s, albeit, not quite as long.

  230. Arreh Says:

    In other other news I spent my entire day playing a flying penguin simulator with doop.

  231. dupersude Says:

    And I spent my entire night doing so.

    PRODUCTIVITY.


  232. In other news, your mom is a penguin.

  233. dupersude Says:

    In other news, YOUR FACE IS A PENGUIN!


  234. http://elderscrolls.wikia.com/wiki/Sload

    “While young, adults generally lack many of the skills to survive”

    “The sload are very cautious. They have no word in their language for adventure. The closest equivalent means tragic disaster.”

    “All of their heroic myths are about individuals who sit around and think for years and years, consulting cautiously with wise sload, until they finally act, always deliberately, always successfully. All of their mythic villains act quickly and always fail.”

    Nondrick may have Sload ancestery.

  235. dupersude Says:

    That would partially explain his face.


  236. Sandy, you left Sloads and part-Sloads off your list.


  237. In other news

    FIREFLY FTW

  238. Arreh Says:

    Portal 2.

  239. dupersude Says:

    I need to watch firefly.
    Also yes portal 2. Needs more portal 2.

  240. dupersude Says:

    /remove the light bridge while Arreh is standing on it over a bottomless pit

  241. Arreh Says:

    Hehehe, good times.


  242. FIREFLY

    Y U NO HAVE SEASON 2?


  243. And three and four and so on…

    😦


  244. THEY CANCELLED FIREFLY FOR THE LACK OF THE SAME REASON THEY MADE A MOVIE TO WRAP UP EVERYTHING!

    POPULARITY.

    IT’S FUCKING MADNESS!

    Our respective characters from TES4 would approve, at least in their current, canon form.

  245. dupersude Says:

    Has anyone seen that show Torchwood?


  246. No. But I’ve heard of it. Points for that?


  247. I’ve heard of it. Doesn’t it have something to do with Doctor Who?

  248. dupersude Says:

    I’d first heard of it a few years ago, when it started on TV here. It was some alien-invasion show, or something. Something to do with aliens. That was all I knew.
    I *didn’t* know, until recently, that it is in fact a spin-off series of Doctor Who. The name “Torchwood” and the “Torchwood Institute” and “Operation Torchwood” is mentioned throughout Doctor Who, and not knowing anything about it is driving me insane ;_;

  249. Arreh Says:

    Heh, well, for where you’re at the mystery is a pretty cool aspect of it all. Bask in your ignorance.

  250. dupersude Says:

    I did look up “Torchwood” at one point to confirm that there was a link, and I think I seen somewhere that the Captain-Fraud-Scammer guy from the first series was one of the main characters in Torchwood?

  251. zekethemeek Says:

    Hey guys, *very* long time lurker, first time poster. How hangs it?

    Dupersude, been working on this for a few months and based on something you said a while back I’ve wanted to ask you to join in since the beginning. Finally ready for the unveil:

    tinyurl.com/8493w5f

    The FAQ explains the backstory a bit more, in particular the relationship to Chris. If you’d like a spot on the site, get in touch. No worries if not, of course (same applies to all the Hiatus Crew, I guess. Especially anyone who has used a ‘Your mom’ construct in a pithy comeback).

  252. dupersude Says:

    W-… Woah…
    … People are… *watching* us…

    Okay, after going through your site, I have a few questions and points:

    1. This “Damien Sanderson” fellow in the FAQ… He wouldn’t happen to be he-whom-we-named-Sandy, would he?
    Sandy? Is that you? I just find it odd that sandy’s Xbox Live GT is Sans Sanders. It’s all highly coincidental.

    2. Your world record – whyyyyyyy?! Are you insane?! 24 hours?!
    I hope I never have a Guitar Hero face-off with you. Congratulations on succeeding, though.

    3. “Iron man mode”. No saving, no dying, you say.
    But what if you’re playing a game like, say, minecraft? How do you “no save” that?

    4. By “spot on the site” do you mean like “another featured author” sort of thing? That could be interesting.

    5. Last, but certainly not least… Why me? I mean, why so directly ask me? I am far from leader of the Crew. There are others who are still here who were here before I, why do I feel like I am being addressed as a front-man? It’s weird o-o.

  253. dupersude Says:

    Oh also, it hangs a little to the left tonight.


  254. Doop, you should do Ocarina of Time ;P

  255. zekethemeek Says:

    DS – I’m not really one for getting involved with forums/comments boards usually. I never feel like I’ve got anything substantial to add, and also it’s a time thing… all I ever did was check back rabidly for a new update, then in lieu of those started reading the comments periodically. I bet there are loads of creepy watcher people like me… hey creepy watcher fellows!

    I remember you mentioning that you were tempted to start up something similar (apologies if it wasn’t you, which I’m not ruling out) and I thought ‘yeah, he’d be *ace* at writing this kind of stuff’. But to answer your queries:

    1) Hmm, don’t think so. He’s just a friend from down the pub – don’t know him well enough to say with any definition, but probably not the same guy. I’ll ask him though.

    2) Thanks man, it was beast. Not something I’d care to repeat. 24 hours isn’t a long time to stay awake at all – students do it all the time – but 24 hours of staring at a screen and doing a concentration task made me feel really ill around the 20-hour mark. Again, all for a good cause though so I’ll stop moaning (actually, fuck charity. I use that world Record to get laid all the damn time.)

    3) Metaphorical no-save. Obviously you can’t stop a game auto-saving, and you have to save in order to finish off a session to come back to another day. Still, the first death is the point at which it’s all over.

    4) Indeed. I’m sure you have better things to do though, but if you ever wanted to do a one-off or a sporadically updated series, you are very welcome. No pressure and go at your own steam.

    5) Again, dunno. It’s open to anyone of the regulars, but you just caught my eye more than anyone (I rewrote that about ten times, and can’t get it to sound any less weird than it does).

    Blackbirdofpiece – I second that motion.

    Obviously some games work way better than others (though Sanderson has done a surprisingly good first draft of Tetris) but the only games I’m outright banning are Skyrim, Oblivion and probably Fallout, purely because they’re Chris’ arena. His Elder Scrolls: Arena, if you will.

  256. dupersude Says:

    Ah, yes, that was indeed me. I don’t really get why people think I would be good at writing. A few people have said that to me now, but I haven’t actually written anything substantial in about three or four years, since I was in high-school.
    Oh, there was one essay I did in my music course last year… But that was about it.

    Well, if I remember correctly, the only thing that ever stopped me from doing a write-up like this was because my computer wasn’t good enough (I was running off a netbook for a while. 1GB Ram, and all that… *shudder*), but now that my computer is quite a bit better, I suppose I could…
    Hmmm… All right, I’ll do it. This could be interesting.


  257. It’s not the same person, just another poser wanting to get recognition by leeching off my ever increasing popularity.

    My XBL GT is “Sans Rioter”

    RIP AND TEAR


  258. HOLY FUCKING SHIT I AM SO PISSED I JUST READ THE STUPID FUCKING POST ON THAT FAQ ABOUT THIS DAMIEN SANDERSON ASSHOLE WHO IS DOING THINGS IN A FASHION THAT I WOULD THEM IN I SAID NO BEFORE CAUSE I KNOW IT ISNT ME IMMA KILL THAT ASSHOLE HE SENDS HIS REGARDS LIKE ME HE I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT THE EVE ONLINE IS HE EVEN PISSES PEOPLE OFF LIKE I DO WHEN I ACTUALLY TAKE THE TIME TO THINK MY INSULTS AND JUST NOT JUST ANNOY PEOPLE TO DEATH THIS JACKWAGON LIBERAL SCUM-SUCKING PEICE OF COMMUNIST ONLY A TRUE DIRT-EATING DOG-SNIFFING SON OF A BITCH WOULD EVER DO SOMETHING AS HORRIBLY TORMENTFUL AND FLABERGASTEDLY DUCK-LIKE AS THIS ASSHOLE WHAT A DICK I OUGHTA JOIN THE SITE AND WRITE UP SOME BULLSHIT STORY ABOUT A GUY WHO GOES AROUND COMMITS IDENTITY THEFT AND GETS KIDNAPPED BY SADISTIC POS NAZI WHORE WHO DO EVERY HORRIBLE DISGUSTING THING YOU COULD FIND ON GOOGLE TO THIS GUY AND NO I DONT NEED TO BREETH CAUSE I AM TYPING AND TYPING DOESNT USE AIR UNLESS YOUR ONE OF THOSE NEW AGE WHITY TITEY SMALL NUTSAC HIPPY HIPSTER FAG HAGS WHO CANT SHIT WITHOUT BEING A FUCKING BITCH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

  259. dupersude Says:

    Er… Just ignore him, Mr. Iddon. He’s a little “unstable”, if you know what I mean.

    Now, now, Sandy… Take your pills… There we go, there’s a good boy…

  260. Vadermath Says:

    /slaps dupersude’s hand so he drops the pills, then promptly injects Sandy with horse tranquilizers whilst yelling “Yeeee-haaaa this, motherfucker!” the entire time

  261. Arreh Says:

    /has swapped Vadermath’s horse tranquilisers for syringes of pressured nitrogen.

  262. dupersude Says:

    You guys you guys you guys I just finished The Fault in Our Stars and I accidentally all of the tears.

    You need to read this book.

  263. Michael Says:

    That Sanderson guy actually sounds pretty cool.


  264. Wait, isn’t pressurized Nitrogen just air?.

    Irregardless of this i refuse to take my meds! They make Mr. Umbrellas go sleepy time.

    I don’t like it when Mr. Umbrellas goes sleepy time because my head gets quiet.

    Nordricks getting hitched to an aspiring merchant in Whiterun and Nondrick is stuck somewhere just outside Skingrad.

    How unfair.


  265. Irregardless = double negative

  266. Arreh Says:

    Pressurised nitrogen is just really densely packed nitrogen gas. Air is a mixture of gases, albeit with a significant (about 70%) proportion of nitrogen. Nitrogen bubbles in the blood cause the bends, I believe.


  267. YOUR MOM HAS THE BENDS

    Sorry. I’m irritable.

  268. zekethemeek Says:

    blackbirdofpeace – oooh, I like your style.

  269. dupersude Says:

    YOUR MUM’S FACE HAS THE BENDS.


  270. Thank you, Zeke.

    Doop:
    COME AT ME BRO


  271. Irregardless is a double negative AND a Concerned reference.

    What is the “bends”?

    I’m not very flexible so this could cause some extremely serious yet mostly fictional issues.

    Arreh what gives? You’ve been very Anti-Sandy lately!

    Granted everyone here in one way or another is…

    …You didn’t take that whole “i like everyone more than Arreh” thing i posted seriously, did you? I thought i rectified that explaining that 4. applies only to human-beings and subsequently and most hatefully list everyone on earth as non or sub-human. there fore there is no 4., i just have a strong attachment to Dupe, Bbop and Chocolate.

    Are you heartbroken, Arreh? Did you secretly have a shrine dedicated to me? I went and read all your words regarding my rather distasteful love priority list(for serious, who am i to play favorites?) and it sounds like i really for real upset you. Arreh, i’d like to let you know that i have a high opinion of you in all seriousness(college for physics? i can’t do subtraction!). However until the U.S. legalizes inter-species marriage…

  272. Arreh Says:

    wut

    Doop, you better have more stories of your life ready, as I am coming home! Also I need to find some exploitable picture of BBoP, to make her happy.


  273. YOU GUYS HE DID IT

    AND IT IS HILARIOUS

  274. Arreh Says:

    I try my best.

  275. dupersude Says:

    I should assume so, how else would you be reading this comment thread?


  276. Actually i’m blind so i have my indentured servant read me what it says and then type a response. Her name is Shanelle or Latiqua…i can’t remember which.

  277. dupersude Says:

    Then how would you view images?


  278. Lashawndra…Shaquila or whatever describes the image to me.


  279. Why don’t we just cut out the middleman. My head on the body of a Skyrim giant.

  280. dupersude Says:

    This is how jobs are lost.


  281. Are there comments i am not seeing? (dupersude shut up)

    Or is this some elaborate scheme to drive me insane?


  282. By the way this is comment 10,980 and and i was wondering if anyone was going to go insane over being the poster of comment 11,000?

  283. Arreh Says:

    No one would care enough to cook up an elaborate scheme for you.

    There are comments that you need WordPress Gold TM to see. Obviously you don’t have it.

  284. dupersude Says:

    Sandy doesn’t have WordPress Gold? I thought everyone had that :S
    This changes the game completely. NOW WE CAN HAVE SEKRETS CONVERSASHUNS ABOUT HIM

  285. Michael Says:

    Hey, don’t make him go purchase a gold account! That’ll spoil all the fun.


  286. I see what you did there!

    1. Post in a way that makes it look like i am missing parts of a conversation.

    2. Wait for me to take notice.

    3. Mention that you can only see certain comments with WordPress Gold.

    4. Sandy goes and spends $400 to see comments that were never there.

    5. Laugh at him for being dumb.

    6. Sandy leaves L.I.O

    So i looked at the WordPress Gold thing and nowhere does it mention comments nor does that make any sense. I fairly certain that noone here is stupid enough to spend $400 on something they have no use for.

    Better luck next time.


  287. Am I the only one that wonders how Skyrim giants reproduce? Where the hell are the females?

  288. dupersude Says:

    You’re insanely paranoid, man. We didn’t do any such thing. I didn’t know you couldn’t see some comments until you said that.
    Look, the best thing to do is just get a Gold account. Better safe than sorry. Plus you’ll be able to see us do, as well as do yourself, this:

    Also, BBoP, they have one female.
    We’re speaking to her now.


  289. That’s a good point actually, with the other creatures like Wolves and Trolls you could excuse the lack of notable differance because they’re animals but with Giants who look like Humans you would expect to see female versions of them.

    I heard a rumor about Dog Armor DLC-I honestly don’t think Bethesda would dare release anything close to the Horse Armor dlc.

    But i would like it if dogs got some kind of buff, because while it’s all nice and fun in the lower levels, on higher levels most creatures instant-kill dogs

  290. dupersude Says:

    Maybe their chromosomes operate differently to humans. Just because they are humanoid in shape – albeit, extremely lanky humanoids – does not mean their genome follows the patterns ours does.
    We’ve all heard of dwarven ladies having beards and rough voices, like the men. Why can’t giants be the same?


  291. Dupe you have a good point, however correct me if i’m wrong but isn’t that only in LOTR? Of course there is no way to tell if the dwarves of TES lore are like that since they disappeared a million years ago or something. I also remember hearing about how the dwemer are a race of elves that were short and super-smart, So wouldn’t that mean they have more feminine features as opposed to other dwarves who are short men?

    Also, what are Genomes and Chromosomes?

  292. Michael Says:

    I am a chromosome. The dwemer all decided to go on a picnic. That’s why they’re gone. Nerevar couldn’t come, so he got mad and made it all up. Almsivi of course had to agree, but they got mad and killed him.


  293. Who?, who and who? whaat?

  294. dupersude Says:

    Not just in LOTR, there are a few other fantasy-themed series that have manly lady-dwarves.
    Basically every person has 36 chromosomes, split into 23 pairs.
    In every sperm cell/egg cell, there are half that many (half of each pair). When a mummy and a daddy love each other very much, they decide to make hot, sweet, tender love, and one lucky spermy gets to fuse with one lucky egg, thereby creating the 36 chromosomes as a whole. These chromosomes are what affect everything about a person, your looks, your voice, your hair colour, the shape of your chin, whether you will grow a full manly beard or a patchy piece of shit, etc. etc.
    These are called your genes, and the collective term for “genes” and the way they work in all of mankind if the genome.

    Anyway the main pair of chromosomes which decide whether or not you have lady-bits or a throbbing meat log used to defile lady-bits, is the XX/XY chromosomes. X chromosomes are responsible for producing oestrogen and such, while the Y chromosome produces testosterone. Of course, this doesn’t necessarily mean that ALL women (XX) will have zero testosterone: everybody grows up differently and there are other things to take into account, as well as so much we, as a race, don’t understand about DNA. But for the most part, that’s why men are masculine and women are feminine.
    Also, it’s been found that your genes change across your life time depending on what you do. For example, if you found a pair of twins and separated them at birth, say, put one in the Israeli Circus and the other went on to become an academic in England, if you brought those twins back together twenty years later, they may not look anything like.
    More on that can be found here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kp1bZEUgqVI

    But my point is, perhaps when giants in Skyrim are born, they are still given beards and deep voices. Perhaps they are like dogs, or cats, in that you can’t really tell a male from a female (unless you are a cat and can smell pheromones).

  295. Michael Says:

    That’s cool and all, dupersude, but it’s actually 46 chromosomes.

  296. dupersude Says:

    Oh my, that’s a math failure if I ever saw one.
    Thank-you, Michael.


  297. OK.

    I guess that makes sense?

    I see what you mean about Giants though, an alternative is that they are like some West African Frogs and can reproduce without having fun.


  298. GIANTS WON THE SUPERBOWL!!!

    AND I WON 15 DOLLARS!!!

  299. Arreh Says:

    Yeah, what she said. Not even really sure which sport it involves. Baseball?


  300. It involves American Football and i only cared about it because i bet 15 bucks on the Giants winning and they won.

  301. dupersude Says:

    That wouldn’t be very fun for the giants.


  302. I meant the New York Giants footbal team, not the mythical creature!


  303. Fuck football and $15.

  304. dupersude Says:

    I’d like fifteen dollars.
    But yeah, fuck football.

  305. dupersude Says:

    D’awww, we love you too BBoP ❤

  306. Arreh Says:

    Don’t you make assumptions about my feelings for BBoP.

    Love you BBop


  307. Love you, Doop. Love you, Arreh. 🙂

  308. dupersude Says:

    I wasn’t assuming, I knew full well. Still do.

  309. Jimmy Deftone Says:

    Nordrick is dead… LONG LIVE NONDRICK!!!!!

  310. dupersude Says:

    Wait, for real? He died?
    I haven’t been keeping up.

  311. JETROID Says:

    Now that Nordrick is dead, do we return to the chronicles of Nondrick? pleasesayyespleasesayyes…

  312. Sans "sandy" Sanders Says:

    He died?

    I was just about to check the pipe for an update and now i’m not sure i want to…


  313. He had so much to live for :,-(

  314. Sans "sandy" Sanders Says:

    Anyone else catch The Walking Dead tonight? It was soooo much more interesting than the past 6 episodes

  315. BiGtOnY1998 Says:

    That Livingston c*nt better continue the story, somehow.

  316. Michael Says:

    Happy Valentine’s, everyone!

  317. dupersude Says:

    Happy commercialised-romance day!

  318. Sans "sandy" Sanders Says:

    Happy valentines day to you too guys!

  319. LAST Says:

    Alas, poor Nordrick! I knew him, Dovahkiin;a fellow of occasional jest, of most mundane fancy; he hath borne little on his back a thousand times; and now, how abhorred in my imagination it is! My gorge rises at it. Here hung those sideburns that I have mocked I know not how oft. Where be your gibes now?

    Rest in Peace, Nordrick, Jasper, My Horse.
    Now, let’s please get back to Nondrick, cuz he’s awesome. Trout face… ha.

  320. Sans "sandy" Sanders Says:

    Amen.


  321. Hi guys. Hope you all had some lovely orgasms for v-day.

    Shame about Nordrick, but I knew it was too good to last. And I think we all know that Nondrick is finis as well, so here we are again forever.

  322. Michael Says:

    I didn’t read any of the Nordrick entries. I shall stay true to our real lord and saviour – Nondrick.

  323. Howard Says:

    Thanks to a mod on Skyrim Nexus, I was able to pay my respects to our beloved Nordrick in a suitable manner…by piling the bodies of the perpetrators on his grave.

    http://skyrim.nexusmods.com/imageshare/image.php?id=44589

  324. dupersude Says:

    Nobody made a mod to pay respects to a potentially deceased NONDRICK though… Traitors!

  325. Howard Says:

    Maybe a mod for Skyrim and Oblivion that puts up a bunch of “Have you seen me?” posters everywhere?

  326. DiscipleofNondrick Says:

    Now that Nordrick is non-advebturing in Sovngarde, can we please have Nondrick back? Or at least a Skyrim thing maybe starring Nordrick’s brother or something?

  327. WB Says:

    Truly a shame about Nordrick. His exploits were a fun read.
    In retrospect, maybe he should have followed George Washington’s advice to “beware entangling alliances.” (i.e., dog, horse) The horse and dog drew him into a fight he couldn’t win, and then threw off his timing/rhythm while he was actually in the fight (getting in front of his weapon, knocking him off the bridge), etc. Sometimes having allies/animals around during combat makes you too conscious of them and their status and not enough about your own situation and the “flow” of the skirmish, until it’s too late. Although he could have possibly used a follower or hired mercenary to draw enemy fire–and warhammers–during that fateful battle.
    Anyway, he and his hilarious hijinks will be missed.

  328. dupersude Says:

    And once more, this place is deader than road-kill.

  329. G Says:

    Oh wow, I havn’t been here in a while. It’s almost as lively, as Antarctica.

  330. Sans "sandy" Sanders Says:

    I hate to be Captain Obvious but you guys are the only people who actually post here-these other guys just saw Nordrick on PCGamer and figured they’d read the original and comment.

    Honestly, the only reason i check this site is to see if you people post anything.

    At this point i could care less about LIO because the jackass who started it will probably never finish it.

  331. kitdoctor Says:

    Now that poor Nordrick is dead, (rest in peace) maybe you could return to Nondrick? I have nothing to fill the non-adventure void in my life with now.

  332. Sans "sandy" Sanders Says:

    L.I.O., it’s finished.

  333. Michael Says:

    kitdoctor, welcome to two years ago.

  334. dupersude Says:

    It’s actually close to three, Michael.

  335. Michael Says:

    Really? I just picked a random number, anyway.

  336. dupersude Says:

    Yeah I started posting on here around May/June 2009, and the place had been abandoned since February/March, if I remember correctly.

  337. Sans "sandy" Sanders Says:

    Thank god for lines in video games that allude to sequels!

  338. dupersude Says:

    That’s funny, Sandy. It almost looks like you typed “God” there.

  339. Arreh Says:

    Unsure what you’re referencing there, Sandy, with this “God” thing. Slip of the hand, no doubt.

  340. dupersude Says:

    Typo, even. It looks like it’s missing an A and a T. And the D is CERTAINLY out of place.

  341. Sans "sandy" Sanders Says:

    I forgot you guys worship Goats. I meant the Catholic God, i guess i’m the only one here who doesn’t some form of Heathen, Atheistic or Scientific belief system.

    Don’t let that stop you from worshiping (b)animals(b).

  342. Sans "sandy" Sanders Says:

    i meant to but animals in bold to mock you but completely fucked up.

    Just in case my intentions weren’t obvious.

  343. dupersude Says:

    You disgust me to the point of no return. How could you, you… you… Heathen! You blasphemer! Heretic!
    PREPARE THE FUNERAL PYRE, CREW. SOMEONE IS ATTENDING THEIR FUNERAL EARLY THIS YEAR.

  344. Sans "sandy" Sanders Says:

    Irony

  345. dupersude Says:

    What are you doing you crazy man you cannot just use iron as an adjective like that you will destroy us all

  346. General Sanders Says:

    No, i found what you said ironic because it’s what i would say to you. I didn’t type it out because i thought you would be smart enough to understand it. But it seems regardless of who you are, what you believe, when you encounter someone who thinks differently your brain shuts off and you resort to a primal state. I have been yelled and sworn at by more militant atheists than i can count.

    I’m starting to think that i’m the only one in the U.S. with a brain.

  347. General Sanders Says:

    Yes, i know you live in Australia. I was referring to the aforementioned militant atheists


  348. I worship a dust bunny I found under the sofa. So yeah.

  349. Michael Says:

    I hope you also worship the holy Goat, BBoP.

    And yes, Sanders must be burned at the stake for his crimes against the Goat.

  350. General Sanders Says:

    Does anyone else think that Delvin Mallory(in Skyrim) sounds like Jason Statham?

  351. dupersude Says:

    I don’t remember who Delvin Mallory was.
    All I remember is how to construct a funeral pyre. For live people.

  352. General Sanders Says:

    Delvin Mallory was the guy in the Thieves Guild who game you the side-missions along with Vex and he’s the Dark Brotherhood’s contact in the guild so you talk to him a couple of times during the DB quest-line. He’s located in the Riften ratways/Ragged Flaggon.

    Conjuration is fun because i can kill goats, resurrect them and make them kill their friends

  353. General Sanders Says:

    Why do get the feeling that everyone is creating voodoo dolls of me or at the very least, using alternative means of communication?

    • dupersude Says:

      You’re getting that feeling because you are slightly psychic, Paper.
      Yes. I just made a Doctor Who reference AND called you Paper in one sentence.
      Your name is now Paper from now on. Sandy is SO two thousand eleven.

  354. Michael Says:

    *tumbleweed*

  355. General Sanders Says:

    After several minutes of standing on the field with everyone disturbingly silent and motionless, I pull from the never-ending expanses of my pockets a gigantic sign that reads “DELVIN MALLORY JASON STATHAM SOUND SIMILAR?” To which the next person who reads this responds…


  356. He does. I thought so too.

  357. Michael Says:

    *lies down and dies

  358. General Sanders Says:

    “OH THANK GOD, I was beginning to…*Stops mid-sentence to attempt to perform CPR on Michael, realizes he doesn’t actually know CPR but instead proceeds to radically flail upon Michael’s chest only taking pauses to dramatically shake his fist at the heavens and cry “Why!? God! Why!?”.


  359. S’okay. That’s Michael’s party trick. Dies on cue.

  360. Michael Says:

    You soiled the surprise, BBoP!

    Bah, now I’ll have to come up with something new…

  361. General Sanders Says:

    Now i feel less like an idiot because i don’t know CPR and more like one because i spent 20 minutes beating Michael’s chest while cursing out God.

    Also this helped me out and it can help you too.

  362. General Sanders Says:

    15 bucks says everyone was killed by a man armed with a pointed stick.

    • LAST Says:

      You’re ON! It was most definitely a dull one.

    • Nyan_Lord Says:

      I was NOT killed by a pointed stick! I have survived by lurking in the shadows, like in Amnesia! Gimme my 15 bucks, Sandy!

      • General Sanders Says:

        You’re claim to 15 sexually repressed deer has been revoked by not addressing me properly. Only crew members can call me Sandy, to everyone else i am General Sanders.

  363. dupersude Says:

    As a Crew member, I have the authority to override that statement. Call him Sandy. Or Paper. Paper never really got a chance to stick…

    • Nyan_Lord Says:

      I’m calling the buttface Colonel Sanders from now on. And yes, I would like 15 sexually repressed male deer. That’s, like, a lot of venusonburgers. 15 buckets of fried chicken will also do, Colonel.

  364. Michael Says:

    15 sexually repressed deer? Hand ’em over, Paper.

  365. dupersude Says:

    15 for each living Crew member. I’ll be taking mine too.
    Now, does anybody have a forest that I can borrow for a weekend?

  366. dupersude Says:

    Oh yeah, and Nyan gets his 15 sexually repressed deer as well. A bet’s a bet.

  367. General Sanders Says:

    Wait, is that someone pretending to be Michael? Notice the picture change between his death and his…i’m going to go grab my flamethrower, just in case.

  368. dupersude Says:

    It’s not. See his March 15th post, just above it. His picture was different there as well. Now stop changing the subject and give us our damn deer, Paper!

  369. General Sanders Says:

    Not until you address me properly, DoucherPood!


  370. Hm. This is awkward, but I already have fifteen sexually repressed deer. My true love gave them to me on the little-celebrated fifteenth day of Christmas.

  371. arreh Says:

    I had 15 sexually repressed deer for the weekend.

    On a completely unrelated note, I now have a herd of very satisfied deer running around my house.

  372. dupersude Says:

    Paper. Paper, my man. I have some points of advice that you should think carefully about following:
    First, No. Shut up.
    Second, Give me my god-damned bucks as promised, or you will be sacrificed. The almighty Goat thirsts for the blood of infidels!

  373. General Sanders Says:

    Who’s this Paper guy everyone keeps talking about? I don’t see any of his/her posts.

    Fine, give me your address/PO box no., you’ll have them in a week

  374. Michael Says:

    I changed my email since WordPress complained that I had to sign in or something, but I never had to do that, before. So, I don’t have any login credentials – meaning I just used a new email.

    Thanks for noticing me. I feel loved.

  375. General Sanders Says:

    Who?

  376. Michael Says:

    My welcome, of course, arreh!

  377. General Sanders (Slowly Dying) Says:

    My mama or Michael’s? Michael has a welcome? What?

    *Head Implodes*

  378. arreh Says:

    If you cannot into grammar, we can only hate you more.

    • Nyan_Lord Says:

      Why is Sandy slowly dying? Also, I know I will never get my deer, as I as well am slightly psychic, Paper.

  379. arreh Says:

    You question his dying all you want, I’m not one to look this gift-horse in the mouth.

  380. G Says:

    I think ninjas are stupid, I mean seriously? Anyone can take out a ninja they are path – jfdskljhgklhgkrjskgfdnjgngfdgdf…….

  381. General Sanders (94%) Says:

    It’s GENERAL SANDERS, Nyan! Remember that.

    Did G just die?

  382. dupersude Says:

    Silly Paper. That’s not how you spell Paper. That is also not correct use of apostrophes.
    What is 94%? Are you 94% of the way dead?

  383. arreh Says:

    Oh golly gee I do hope so.

  384. Michael Says:

    Or is he charging something? Something that will affect us all? Or maybe he just gathered 94% of the promised deer.

  385. Nyan_Lord Says:

    He’s only mostly dead, not completely dead. If only we had a chocolate covered pill…

  386. General Sanders (Don't get your hopes up) Says:

    Ok, i understand the “Hiatus Crew” wanting me dead. But what have I EVER done to you, Nyan_Lord? Name one thing that I have done to you, that would warrant murderous thoughts and/or words.

    Go ahead, i dare you!

    Also, I cannot deliver the deer unless i have an address or P.O. box number.

    • Nyan_Lord Says:

      I never said I wanted you dead. Everything dies. Haven’t you ever read “All I Ever Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten?”
      And who are you calling heathen, Mr. Doesn’t-capitalize-Goat? Also, 123 Fake Street is MY adress. I call identity theft.

  387. dupersude Says:

    Nyan – We do not use the reply button here. Only heathen use that goat-forsaken button. It messes everything up and makes it confusing. Like time travel, except it’s not awesome.
    Also, his name is not Sanders. It is Paper. PAPER.

    Paper – I’d have posted my delivery address long ago, but alas, nobody ever believes that it is really 123 Fake Street. So they never send me anything. Because of this, I ask that it be sent via care of Putzy. I’ll get my bucks off him the next time I’m on his side of the country.


  388. Doop, you can have my fifteen sexually repressed deer. I’m done with them.

    Also, can you send me the baby hedgehog link again? I need it for completely non-weird reasons that I shan’t divulge.

  389. dupersude Says:

    If you keep using the reply button, you’ll end up in the same boat as Paper. To clarify, that is a place you do not want to be.
    I said “goat-forsaken”. I did not call upon his holiness the Goat himself. And finally, I did not steal your address. 123 Fake Street has always been my home, and for future reference, I would advise you not to outright accuse someone of identity theft because if such a person had enough power to perform such an act… Well, that should be self explanatory.

    Mrs. Blackbird, I will accept your gift of sexually repressed deer. But I still want my own.
    And I regret to inform you that I cannot remember the baby-hedgehog link of which you speak, or where I got it. Sorry D:

  390. General Sanders Says:

    Why paper?

  391. dupersude Says:

    I’unno. Why not?

  392. Nyan_Lord Says:

    Hmm… Okay. I live in California, so it is probably just a case of duplicate street names. But I swear, if I suddenly start receiving massive shipments of Prozac and feces-flavored toothpaste, in the name of Kenny, Goat and Brendan Urie (my personal pantheon), I will track you down and do something mean to you.


  393. I saw an adorable baby goat today 😀

  394. Michael Says:

    I weep every time I see ”Goat” spelled uncapitalized…

  395. Nyan_Lord Says:

    You know what would be hilarious/awesome? If Canada and Rhode Island built up an enormous nuclear stockpile and bombed Texas and India, forcing the rest of the planet to bend to their rule. Oh, and sorry about the use of the Reply button.

  396. deathonumbrellas Says:

    ASS KISSING

  397. noblaum Says:

    Rest in peace, Nordrick. And to a lesser extent his dog and horse. Death by BANdit Hammer.

  398. Michael Says:

    Is this it, friends? Check out the older entries – the pictures are gone. Same with notmydesk, it’s basically dead.

    A golden era brought to a close.

    *dramatic music*

  399. dupersude Says:

    oh, no. Dark times lay ahead D:
    Michael, go get facebook so we can keep in contact with you in the event of nuclear holocaust.

  400. deathonumbrellas Says:

    It’s not over until Ron Perlman sums up everything that has happened and will happen it an underwhelming slideshow.

  401. Nyan_Lord Says:

    Oh Goat… The pictures… are gone… Brendan Urie! Kenny! Goat! Help me!

  402. Nyanthrax Says:

    Who else votes for a Nondrick funeral? I think it’s over. R.I.P. Nonny and Nordy.

  403. Nyanthrax Says:

    Say what you like, but pictures are vanishing, notmydesk sounds like crickets, and even the Crew is getting inactive. This doesn’t look good.

  404. arreh Says:

    Bitch please, the Crew is active. Just elsewhere. We have transcended being the Crew, if you will.

    I mean, I talk to doop. You other guys can talk to me too sometime. It gets awful lonesome.

  405. dupersude Says:

    What Arreh said. We have become brothers in arms beyond the mere comments section of this blog… We’ve all moved on to bigger and better things. Which makes it all the more easier to ignore annoying newcomers.

  406. Nyanthrax Says:

    Yes, I am annoying, and yes, I am a newcomer. Thank you for noticing. So does the crew live in an astral plane where everyone has a fish-face and you pick flowers all day long?


  407. Not that anybody cares, but i’m going to stop posting here. Chris ain’t updating and the “crew” have moved to facebook or god knows where. I’ll probably check back in a few months just see if anything has happened. but for now i say goodbye to everyone and i want any members of the hiatus crew that read this to know that as much as you hated me, i adored you. I thought you guys were funny and neat and i thought it would be cool to be a part of it.

    So yeah, bye…

  408. dupersude Says:

    Wait a minute, before leaving, does anyone here play minecraft? Apart from the culprits I already know of?

  409. Nyanthrax Says:

    Oooh, yes. I’ve been almost cold turkey for a while now, though.

  410. dupersude Says:

    I only ask, because my friend bought a server a while back and nobody has really been playing on it for a lonnnng while, except for myself and occasionally Arreh or Putzy. I was just wondering if people would be interested in playing on said server? Any griefing with the already-built-shit, though, and you will be jailed.


  411. Why does it feel like it’s all ending?

    I miss the good old days ;_;

  412. dupersude Says:

    It’s not really. I don’t think Chris would take this place down. I think it’s just the image hosting site he was using having issues or something… We’ll still post here, for reasons nobody can really understand, but our posts will be few and far between.
    Like they have been for a while now.

  413. arreh Says:

    It was hardly occasional, I’d play every day. And yeah, this place will stick around okay, I’m sure. I shall still be checking this every now and again when I am 60 with my Google Brain-Computer.

  414. G Says:

    I havn’t played minecraft since our (me and my friends) server went down. Which was 1.9, so long ago… hmmm.

  415. Michael Says:

    I have a Minecraft account! But no, I don’t plan on permanently abandoning this place. Why would I want to do that?

    We’ll just stick around, like we always did. Activity will go up and down, like it always did. Hiatus is still active, like it always was. Things are right, and this is why we, the Hiatus Crew, exist on this plane.

    We’re not leaving, because we are here to watch over our Hiatus-taking fish-faced supreme Lord – Nondrick P. Cairk’tir. We are here to stay.

  416. midget52 Says:

    Wait, we’re leaving now? I just got here!

    I have a server, though I’m not sure how I’d connect it to the internet. I mostly use it to play with friends over LAN.

  417. dupersude Says:

    I’m not going anywhere. I’m just not always here, and neither is anyone else (with the exception of Paper and Nyan, the former of which seems to have left already).
    Midget you should come play some minecraft with me :>


  418. So THIS is where you both went. 😛

    Yay, we’re all here!

  419. arreh Says:

    Yay reunion.

  420. dupersude Says:

    you are

  421. Sans Sanders Says:

    *Insert analogy about this site being like crack cocaine*

    I’m tired right now. So, any chance you guys play a game that’s free? or something that can be bought on disc and/or played on a shitty asus laptop? i’d totally join whatever you want but i don’t feel comfortable giving my credit card to mojang

  422. Nyanthrax Says:

    Whyever not? Mojang is totally reputable.
    OT, Star Trek Online? I dunno.

    • Sans Sanders Says:

      Mojang’s reputation consists of;

      “We made Minecraft”

      “We got sued by the almighty Bethesda ’cause we used a trademarked word”

      i’m not trusting them with my credit card, now if i could get Minecraft on a disc or off Amazon, i would buy it.

  423. arreh Says:

    Doop plays Ace of Spades with me.

  424. Nyanthrax Says:

    I enjoy Ace of Spades, even though I am pretty horrible at it. I usually just run around blasting holes in stuff with the shotgun.

  425. Sans Sanders Says:

    What’s “Ace of Spades”?

    Even though i’m going to look it up after typing this comment, please tell me.

  426. Sans Sanders Says:

    Sooo i played Ace of Spades and it’d ok.

    What is your server’s name/server do you usually play/how i find you.

  427. dupersude Says:

    Harry is lying! I have never played Ace of Spades. He wishes I played it with him. But erryday I’m minecraftin’.
    Sandypaper, if you’re that worried why don’t you get paypal?

  428. Sans Sanders Says:

    im busy seeing colors go nthe fuck away

  429. Nyanthrax Says:

    Their reputation is: Made Minecraft, published Cobalt, made Scrolls, got sued by Zenimax over Scrolls, won, and hosted a flipping convention. I rest my case.

  430. Sans Sanders Says:

    Look, i was busy seeing colors and you made a perfectly sane suggestion. How did you think I was gonna respond? Anyways, Dupe why don’t you play Ace of Spades? I thought it was pretty neat…Oh and Arreh, how would I go about finding you on the endless list of nearly indistinguishable jargon that is the Ace of Spades server list?

    Hey, for completely unrelated reasons and out of sincere curiosity. What is the name of the drug which is injected in the arm and makes thing look different?

  431. Nyanthrax Says:

    I second whoever said “geat a Paypal.”

  432. Nyanthrax Says:

    The drug is called arsenic.

  433. Sans Sanders Says:

    Isn’t that what Pac-Man eats?

  434. Nyanthrax Says:

    I always figured that he just ate crack. He just keeps going and going and going. Then he eats the big glowing acid pills and starts eating ghosts and turning them into eyeballs.

  435. Nyanthrax Says:

    No way, butts taste like poop! No way I’d be kissing one.

  436. arreh Says:

    Paper, stop using the reply function.


  437. It’s Doop’s birthday, yo. That means…

    BIRTHDAY SPANKING

  438. Sans Sanders Says:

    Oh really? Happy Birthday Dupersude!

  439. dupersude Says:

    The no-reply rule is not a Crew-exclusive rule. It used to be, when the Crew were the only ones who roamed this barren wasteland that you people have decided to name a “comment section”, but since other lost souls have joined that is no longer the case.
    As such, the rule governs not only the crew, but the entire wasteland.

    tl;dr, shut the fuck up, and don’t use the reply button.

    Your name is Paper, or SandyPaper, or Sandy, or whatever I decide to call you. Sanders sans sanders leaves a blank slot anyway, so I’m filling it. Fuck you.

    Next on the order of things to address: The only person around here giving me any birthday spankings is BBoP. And Arreh. Putzy doesn’t hang around here anymore, so he can give me them on msn.

    Also guys if any of you know of Matt Mulholland, he made me a voice clip on soundcloud of him singing happy birthday to me today 😀 it was the greatest

    • deathonumbrellas Says:

      I’ll stop using the reply function when you ask nicely and accept that you can’t have your way all the time. I liked “Sandy” because it flowed and made sense, “Paper” doesn’t. Fuck you.

      • dupersude Says:

        I guess this place is becoming a barren, unused wasteland again.

        Thanks for the well wishes by the way Michael 😀 Could’ve sworn I replied to that already but apparently not…

  440. arreh Says:

    I too made you a beautiful recording.

  441. dupersude Says:

    Yes you did dear, it was lovely.
    Putzy also made me a recording, and is now writing and recording a rap as well.

  442. Michael Says:

    Please please share! And happy (late?) birthday!

    generic_voice_clip_of_me_singing_happy_birthday.wav

  443. dupersude Says:

    WHAT THE REPLY I DIDN’T EVEN HIT THE REPLY BUTTON WHAT SORCERY IS THIS!?

  444. dupersude Says:

    I feel so dirty and ashamed… I need to go and shower… With a scouring brush… So unclean…

  445. Michael Says:

    The reply button was used… by… dupersude?! What a catastrophe!

  446. dupersude Says:

    No no! It wasn’t! I never touched the reply button I swear ;_;

  447. Nyanthrax Says:

    Eh, don’t be ashamed. You probably just hit the reply button in the email rather than the comments button. Oh, and is signing up at the site all it takes to join the crew?

    On a side note, who here has played Mount&Blade?


  448. Mah franz! If any of you are not engrossed in Game of Thrones, I must ask you:

    Why the hell not?

    In other news, Arreh doesn’t seem to have noticed that Doop used his power name. Is he even now being made to do unspeakable things? If not, why not? If so, then why am I not privy to them?

  449. dupersude Says:

    Nyan, that’s probably what happened… Crafty wordpress, tricking me into doing evil things.

    Mel, I’ve yet to read or watch that series. I will get around to it eventually though…
    Also you are not privy because you are over there and I am over here and he is over somewhere that is neither there nor here.

  450. arreh Says:

    Game of Thrones is awesome and I have read the books a while ago and they are awesome and I want the next one and the tv series is awesome and awesome.

    Bbop, doop has a powerful, if kinky, hold over me and so he was able to make me forget his illegal power name usage. Now that you have mentioned it I shall no longer stand for it.


  451. Doop just used my power name too!

    What- what- what am I doing?

    *goes into kitchen, begins to cook bacon*

  452. arreh Says:

    You don’t even want to know the stuff he’s made me do. Actually, knowing you, you probably do. Honestly.

  453. dupersude Says:

    Oh shi- I should stop posting here because power names and nicknames are getting mixed up in my head. I didn’t even realise I said it until now 😦

  454. Nyanthrax Says:

    Power names?

  455. Sans Sanders Says:

    So, was it your intention to look like an ass?

    Good thing you had Short Round to spend an hour figuring out a valid excuse for your mistake

  456. Martin Hall Says:

    Just a question… where has all the .jpgs gone from Nondricks adventures? I look for them but they just take me to http://www.notmydesk.com.

    Also I am quite inspired by this tale, and was wondering if I was to do the same thing would I be cashing in on your idea. It’s just so compelling that i thought I’d give it a go with my own fella in Skyrim.

  457. dupersude Says:

    Hey Dick – can I call you Dick? No? Too bad, grow a pair and man the fuck up. I’ll call you whatever the fuck I like.
    The only one looking like an ass here, is yourself.
    Let me ask you something: Why are you even still here?

  458. arreh Says:

    Doop’s gettin’ rooooooowdyyyyy.

  459. G Says:

    They call me human. I often wonde – Did Dupe use the reply button?

  460. dupersude Says:

    Yes yes, you found the form you should be filling out – no, the form you SHOULD have been filling out months ago – now print it off and send it to the Someonewhogivesafuck Foundation.
    Get one for Joey while you’re at it.

    Arreh, I was rowdy last night. You should’a been here man… You suck.
    G, NO I DIDN’T. It was alllll an illusion crafted by WordPress to make me out to be a traitor of the great and powerful Goat.
    But they will not get the better of me…

  461. Michael Says:

    Joey? I’m starting to feel nostalgic, here!

  462. dupersude Says:

    I know, right? What ever happened to him anyway?

  463. Sans Sanders Says:

    If I remember correctly I think he simply stopped posting. I don’t have the time to go through all the comments right now so I could be wrong about that.

  464. dupersude Says:

    *sniffle* that was beautiful, BBoP.

  465. Nyanthrax Says:

    Oh god- I just noticed that ALL the pictures are gone! Never again will I see that ugly fish face…

  466. arreh Says:

    “It might have died earlier this year.”

    Three years ago. Hah.

    FOOLS, YOU CANNOT KILL THAT WHICH DOES NOT LIVE


  467. What is dead may never die.

  468. arreh Says:

    But rises again, harder and stronger.

  469. dupersude Says:

    . . . And that’s the story of how I was conceived.

  470. deathonumbrellas Says:

    But Daaaad, I’m not tired yet! Can you tell me another story?


  471. Once upon a time there was a brilliant, beautiful woman who got so tired of dealing with bullshit that she went to the comments of a blog and said shut the fuck up in a vain attempt to relieve her feelings.

    But it didn’t work. The end.

  472. Nyanthrax Says:

    Hmm. If I weren’t a guy, I’d think that story was my biography. Someone tell a story about me!


  473. Once upon a time you did the right thing in a difficult situation. And you lived happily ever after.

  474. Nyanthrax Says:

    Pfft. Yeah, right. I don’t want FANTASY, bbop


  475. Write your own damn story then. Ingrate.

  476. Nyanthrax Says:

    Okay: Once upon a time, there was a teenager with poor judgement. He did something moronic and got arrested. The end.


  477. See I tried to make you the hero AND give you the happy ending but you wouldn’t take it. That’s a shame.

  478. G Says:

    Want to lose weight? With the G diet you lose weight, guranteed!
    All you do is eat more! What I hear you cry? How does this work? Well because the constituent parts of each atom is heavier then the actual atom then by putting on more atoms you lose more weight!

  479. deathonumbrellas Says:

    So that’s what I’ve been doing all these years…


  480. One time I lost twelve pounds in an hour and a half.

  481. Nyanthrax Says:

    Know how to lose weight even faster? Liberally apply piranhas to the thighs, buttocks, and torso! I lost enough weight to get the big rocks orbiting me to fall!

  482. Sans Sanders Says:

    And I thought I was crazy.

  483. Michael Says:

    You are, Paper.

  484. daTomoT Says:

    RIPerpetualMotion Nondrick, ye who ist so much more accomised in the ways of alchemy than Nordick. Ye who survived all odds! Even that Hammer Honkin’ bandit (unlike Nordick). Ye who survived without the need for marriage, for ye had Beaker! Beaker > Jasper.

  485. Pippo Says:

    That was utterly hilarious! 🙂

  486. Michael Says:

    RIP comments section.

  487. arreh Says:

    Shh shh shh, there now; let it rest.

  488. G Says:

    I comment here, today, several months or so since my last comment, on this particular day, after 2 exams and finishing 6th form, which involves mixed emotions from me, well what I want to say it this:

    Last.


  489. NIEN!
    I AM DEATH ON UMBRELLAS!
    THE ONE TRUE LORD AND INHERITOR OF THIS LAND!
    IT IS MY BIRTHRIGHT AND I CLAIM LAST!
    MUAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

  490. arreh Says:

    Wait, 6th form sounds awfully British. And I still have 6 exams before summer hols and uni. Sucks.

  491. G Says:

    It’s because I am British, got a passport and everything (Out of date). Yeah, I have many exams to plow through as well, miss the torch relay because of one.

  492. arreh Says:

    Well there we go. So are you off to uni this October?

  493. G Says:

    If by October, you mean, the end of September, then yes.

  494. arreh Says:

    Well so am I, which is jolly exciting. So there we go.


  495. *Gently lays some flowers down beside the headstone*

    See ya fuckers!

  496. Michael Says:

    Who you calling dead, dead-uhn?


  497. When there’s no more room in hell…


  498. Bbop, checking in. Because, you know. Sometimes I miss this place. Hi, Michael!



    hullo, umbrellas.


  499. Hello, Bbop.

    I was just thinking, what if the crew members check this site all the time, see that no-one frequently comments and decide not to comment, but the reason why no-one frequently comments is because everyone sees that no-one frequently comments and decide not to comment.

    O_o


  500. I wonder if I’m wrong about people not commenting because they don’t see other commenting or if everyone isn’t commenting now because they want me to be wrong?

    ???

  501. dupersude Says:

    Don’t kid yourself. We’re avoiding the comments because you’re still here. It’s that simple.


    • Are you still upset about using the reply function after telling me not to use the reply function?

      Everyone knows it was an honest mistake and I was just giving you a hard time because it’s what I do.

      Regardless, I’ve been around long enough to have an extremely accurate B.S. monitor

      Remember when you guys tried to trick me into spending $400 dollars on some WordPress thingy(I don’t remember what it was)?

      Exactly.

      You can suck it up and post here, tolerating me or you can run off to some other site like you did when Jaded sparked a “rebellion” against you.

      This site is my #3 internet bookmark and I check it every 2-3 days, if I feel there’s something to comment on, I will comment on it.

      If it makes you feel better I’ll make an effort to act more “mature”.

      Otherwise, Deal with it.

  502. dupersude Says:

    I’m not even going to bother reading that.
    I’ll try to make this as easy to understand as I can for you: You are an incredibly annoying person, and we don’t like you. It’s been that way since LONG before the reply-button stuff.

  503. arreh Says:

    Also we all just chat off-site. I say chat, I mean get naked on cam. Looking at you, doop.

  504. dupersude Says:

    Hey hey hey, you started it.


  505. It doesn’t matter who started it. What matters is who finishes it.

    Takers?

  506. dupersude Says:

    BBoP, quit provoking it. It actually thinks it’s HUMAN… You know, with RIGHTS!


  507. PSYCH! THASS THE WRAAWWNG NUMBER!

  508. dupersude Says:

    FIRST OF ALL, I’M NOTCHYER FRIEND… SO STOP LOOKIN’ AT ME.
    SECOND OF ALL, I’M NOT A RAPPER… SO STOP RRRRRAPPIN’ AT ME!

  509. G Says:

    Hello crew members.
    Hello non-crew members.
    Hello cancer induing rapists.

  510. dupersude Says:

    Hullo G! been a while.


  511. G! We have been having such fun elsewhere! You should join us.

    We have pie.

  512. dupersude Says:

    LOADS of pie.

  513. arreh Says:

    They eat all the pie 😦


  514. I think the admin of this web page is genuinely working hard in favor of his web page, as here every material is quality based material.

  515. dupersude Says:

    . . . Wow, this place died.


  516. LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAST

  517. Nyanthrax Says:

    Au contraire. Last.

  518. Nyanthrax Says:

    You rob me of my “last” AND use the reply button? Good God, man!


  519. I dreamed of angels

    And left without them

  520. dupersude Says:

    Very poetic, BBoP. Now why aren’t you on skype?


  521. Because I’m going to bed to dream of more angels damn it


  522. Its like you read my mind! You seem to know so much about this, like you wrote the book in it or something. I think that you can do with some pics to drive the message home a bit, but instead of that, this is wonderful blog. An excellent read. I will certainly be back.

  523. Arreh Says:

    Light reflected from your shadow
    Like breathing was easy.

  524. G Says:

    Atta boy Arreh, now take off your pants. (call back joke)

    Also, Last. Yeah you all thought I was dead right?


  525. Hello, my name is Gregory Thomas, I just wanted to say, that this is nice work! Your blog is pretty interesting 🙂 I also write Stories too! You Could Check my skyrim stories out on my blog at “Cascadialegends.Wordpress.Com” just look under
    the ” Cascadia adventures “tab When you Get there, it would be pretty
    cool if you checked out my blog! 🙂 BE sure to let others know
    about me.
    -from Gregory Thomas
    P.S. Good luck to you too as well, in your endeavors 🙂

  526. G Says:

    I cocnur


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